Not to Brag...

...But my little gal slept through the night for the 2ND TIME IN A ROW last night!!! Yep- you can say it out loud- she is amazing!

Relaxation? Is that even a word??

We need prayers for our Missy Pants, people! KK took her to her echo ultrasound on Monday and the tech found a small hole in her heart. At this point we are still waiting to hear back from our pediatrician as to just how severe it is and if anything must be done at this point. Our hope is that the hole will heal itself and we will not have to worry. I am trying not to stress when I do not have anything concrete to worry me... but it's hard when your sweet baby does not have a perfect heart... she is sleeping in my arms at night now so I assure she stays safe throughout the night.

I am still so busy and behind with my work at school and home- I have about 100 student packets waiting for me to grade... it never ends! I cannot get ahead... I long for the weekend to get things done...and I seriously hope I can get SOMETHING done: there is a sh*t load of laundry stacking up, dirty bathrooms, dishes that must be put away so we have spoons to eat off of... the list goes on and on. In fact, I didn't even have time last night to give Missy Pants a bath, so she got the old wet washcloth once-over this morning!!
What I really want to do is just lay on the couch all day and catch up on my TIVO... doubt that'l happen anytime soon! I foresee my spare moments being filled with chores and random busy-ness.
I just want to feel in control of my life again, like I am ahead on something. I am a hard worker and like things to be organized and in place. Is this what parenthood is like? Full of stolen minutes and a momma running around like her hair is always on fire??
At least I have the stinkin cutest baby of all times-

Whirlwind

Holy Crap! Now that I am back to work, I feel like my life is moving in fast forward... the days just fly by Crazy!

My first week back to work went really well. My students were happy to have me back, and I am enjoying getting to know them. It is so nice to have a routine and professional purpose: being away from work made me realize that I need that stability in my life. I also realized how much I love my job and being around young people.
And like Alexa told me, working makes me a better mom to my Missy Pants.
I really value every moment we have together, as well as the time we spend as a family.
We had a great weekend: on Saturday morning,KK and I took the Missy Pants to Wal*Mart (fun times) to get FOOD! and a really cute outfit for her to wear to daycare on Halloween. We also went out to Cabela's so hubs could by some stuff for his upcoming hunting trip to South Dakota. We then went home and watched footbal- our college team, U of Idaho, broke a 17 game losing streak, thank the Lord! and just bummed around. We finished the night with an excellent dinner (KK cooked some pheasant he had gotten the weekend before).
It was so nice to just be with him and our baby... I'm really learning how much I value my husband and our life together.
On Sunday KK went hunting, and I took Ali over to my parents for some fall pictures in the leaves. They turned out super-cute, minus the fact that Missy Pants was more into eating her hands then smiling at Momma and Grammie, but what can ya do? (I'll post them soon, if I have the time!?) We finished Sunday evening with a great chili dinner at my parents (KK came over after hunting) and then went home to wind down and get ready for the week.
...And here I sit on Monday morning trying to clear the fuzz from my brain (lack of sleep = drowsy teacher) and finding myself in disbelief that the first week went SOOO FAST! It's like I never have enough time to organize my house, catch up on my reading, get the laundry done, kiss my baby, or bathe for that matter!
Wow, life sure has changed... for the better :)

We made it!

Well, the first day of work/child care went over without a hitch, but with a good amount of tears (both mine and baby's). I cried off and on yesterday thinking about how much I would miss being without my sweet girl. I cried this morning while holding her before putting her in the car seat. However, I did sooo good dropping her off and waited until I got in the car, called my mom, and cried on the way to work. I was fine at work until my hubby came down to my classroom to check on me, and got teary again. I cried when I came home and picked her back up and gave her some snuggles.. and I am getting teary as I write this, thinking about taking her again tomorrow.
But really. It was hard, but not terrible or horrible. I can do it again, I will do it again, and I will be a better mom because I am giving my Missy Pants her space. I am also getting my own contributing adult time, and I realized how much I really missed and enjoy my job. As bittersweet as it is to be away from your child, it is totally worth it.

So on top of having her first day at child care, we also took Missy Pants for her first round of shots and her 2 month well check. The good news is she is average for height and weight, and that nothing is wrong with her :)We do have to take her next week for an echo ultrasound, as she has a small heart murmor. (Apparently it is something she will grow out of, but we must take procautions).
The best news- her doctor thinks the reason she is so cranky is because the little chunky monkey is hungry! So we upped her formula to 5 oz every 3 hours, and we'll see how it goes. So far tonight it was wonderful-- she was brave through her shots and only cried for a couple minutes. After we got home she got some yummy grape baby Tylenol, a big bottle, a bath, and went peacefully to sleep! I'm hoping more food will do the trick (she is so her mother's daughter)and Grumplestilskins will settle down.
AND... the hubby started getting up at night to feed her! We started on Friday night and are now switching every-other-night! I could not be happier about that!
And with tonight being my night, I am headed up to bed!

P.S. I'm giving a SHOUT OUT to Hot Mamma over at Oh the Pressures for giving me a sweet bloggy award! I will hand out my own later this week!

Cranky Crankster

As I write this post at approximately 5:07pm, Missy Pants is peacefully sleeping in her little cow chair. KK and I eat our dinner around 6PM. Missy Pants conveniently chooses to wake up at this time and scream her head off, unless she is held. Lately I have been noticing that she cries a lot when we set her down during the day, and this worries me because I don't want to have the kind of daughter who has to be held at all times. I'm especially worried about when I am back at work next week and need to use at least some of my time in the afternoon to get things done around the house, which I prefer to do without a screaming child in the background.
I stress out all the time about having a child that is not independent and cannot self-sooth. Missy Pants does well in her bassinet at night time- she falls asleep by herself and stays there until I get her up in the morning- it is just during the day time that she puts on her cranky pants. She mostly takes cat naps during the day, and is so cranky from around 4pm to 7pm, on and off. Please, mommies out there, tell me this is normal for a 2 month old! When will she get a routine?? Am I ruining her for life by picking her up every time she cries?? :-/
Oh the joys and scares of being a new momma! I would continue, but someone in the household has decided to exercise her lungs!

My Last Week

Today begins the last week of me being home with my Missy Pants. It's bittersweet really: I'm looking forward to having a schedule and getting out of the house every day, but I'm so sad that another lucky person will get to spend their day with my sweet baby girl! I'm so thankful that the person watching Ali is a good friend of mine, so at least she won't be at a daycare where she is 1 of 10... but it's still hard! I don't want to stay at home anymore, but I don't want to be away from her! Why can't I just teach with her strapped in the front-back, geez!!! :-)
I find myself worrying that she will replace me with the daycare provider, and that she is growing and changing so much I will miss something spectacular and never forgive myself. I know that children go to daycare every day- Hell, I went to daycare and still think my mom is the bestest... and now I'm going to stop freaking out.
The beauty is that after I go back, there is only three weeks until we get a day off for Veteran's Day, then comes Thanksgiving followed by Christmas Break, so I won't have too long of stretches between when we can be together again.
It will be fine once I get back into the swing of things, it's just hard to think about right now :(

Weekend Update

Well KK and I had it out this morning. I finally put all my feelings on the table, we went round and round, he got mad and left, I took Ali to my parents, he came home and called me, I came back home, and we figured it out. Thankfully my husband listens to me, and really hears what I am saying, and tries his manly best to work harder.
Our Bottom line: we are partners and we need to work together in this family, not against each other. I think he gets it, and I think it is going to get easier for me... but time will tell.

And I'm finally posting my new hair picture... the color is new, the cut is me trying to grow my hair back out, so I'm not a big fan at this point, but you gotta make sacrifices to get to where you're going!

*sigh*

I don't know what's up with me lately: it's like I'm in a funk that I can't shake. I really feel that, although my husband is a great father, he is lacking in the husband and supportive companion departments. Don't get me wrong, KK is great and I'm still totally in love with him- I just feel like he forgets about me sometimes. He forgets that I am with Missy Pants every day, all day, and that sometimes I need him to hold her when she cries. He forgets that taking care of her is a full-time job, and that taking care of a newborn is not easy: it is downright exhausting, draining, and HARD. He never says thank you for doing his laundry, cleaning the dishes, mopping the floor, paying the bills, or cleaning up after him, and our daughter, all day long. He has not once offered to get up with Missy Pants during the night to feed her- not even once.
My back hurts so bad I can hardly stand it, we have no money for me to go see anyone for 2 more weeks, and he has never offered to rub it, not even when he sees me struggling to do it myself.
I just want him to say that he appreciates me. Just one thank you. I just want to figure out a way to tell him I need a little help. I'm overwhelmed. I'm tired. I need a break.

Love v. Hate

I felt compelled to make a list of loves/hates that I'm feeling at the current moment so here goes:

Love: That my baby and I are starting to interact so much and have bonding time
Hate: That at this time in 2 weeks, I will be in my 2nd day back at work and my sweet girl will be spending the day with someone other than me

Love: That being a teacher allows my husband and I to be home in the afternoons so being away from baby won't be so bad
Hate: That the teacher's salary sucks: we have $40.56 in our bank account as of today, and we don't get paid until Oct. 25th (also hate we only get paid once a month)

Love: That I got a massage yesterday and had a gift certificate so it was free
Hate: That the dude that gave me the massage did not focus on my back like I asked, and I still have this burning pain underneath my left shoulder-blade

Love: That I baked cookies today
Hate: We only had whole-wheat flour so they taste kinda funky

Love: Having a long-term substitute that likes her job and is teaching my lesson plans
Hate: That my substitute is so old she can't use a friggin computer, and I am using my maternity leave grading papers and entering them into the grade book

Love: That I have lost almost all my maternity weight and can wear my old clothes
Hate: That I now have an even more flabbier belly then before, and it is now too cold to take the baby for a walk so exercise might be outta the question

Love: My new hair color!
Hate: I never have time to straighten it, so it is being wasted in a fussy bun

I could go on and on really... but who likes a downer?

Baby Urpies

Every night for the past 3 weeks, my little girl has urped in her bed during the night. I can't figure it out for the life of me! Every morning when I pick her sweet bootie outta the bassinet, I find a little puddle of dried formula right next to her little cheek and in her sweet hair ( appetizing, isn't it?)
I've even tried to feed her less then her normal 4 oz during the night... this morning I heard her pukie, it was almost 2 hours after being fed! She doesn't do this during the day- in fact she hardly urps at all... except during the night! I've tried burping her extra good- she always gives me three good burps at least. I've also tried holding her longer to give her food time to settle... any suggestions out there? Or should I just call the doc???

Poo baby :(

We survived!

Our first night out without our little gal was not a success. Don't get me wrong, we had fun and Ali was safe and sound at Gram and Gramps' place... However, my husband, on the other hand, was a sh*t show.
To start the night out, we went to a local bar with our friends who also coach/teach at the same high school as us and have a 1 year old boy. We all ordered scooners- which are these huge glasses that probably hold 3 beers (needless to say, we were collectively buzzed- we all get out so much).
We then headed to the auction (put on by the booster clubs at the high school where we work, as well as the high school across town, to raise money for all the clubs and sports programs) and proceeded to bid on crap that none of us really wanted or needed, or had extra money to buy. Thankfully we won did not win anything :)

Dinner was served about an hour into it, this is where the night started to take turn for the worse, and my husband missed out! He was over at the gas station across the street getting cash out... to buy more drinks of course. So here he is drinking it up on an empty stomach- not a good plan for a guy who does drink 1 or 2 beers a night, but has not been "out" in a good 10 months. After the rest of us finished eating we decided to get outta the auction- mostly because we were getting tipsy and didn't want to make gigantic asses of ourselves in front of our colleagues. And, who are we kidding, the place was not happenin'.
So we headed downtown and went to the Eagles- of which my hubs is a member. I was having a blast! I played shuffleboard with the wrestling coaches from our school while my hubs was at the bar talking to his buds. I did not realize he was enjoying himself some cran and vodka- which he never drinks- instead of his normal beverage of choice: beer. Then we decided to go to another bar with a live band to dance- and that is when KK melted down. He was stumbling down the road and looked Chinese. I had to practically guide him down the street, it was embarrassing. At that point, I made a brilliant decision and decided to call a cab to take us home.

To sum it all up, he tried to throw up IN OUR BACK YARD and then wanted to sleep on the bathroom floor, and as I write this, is still up in our bed. I'm so glad my sweet daughter does not have the wear-with-all to understand what a FRIGGIN IDIOT her father is... we are definitely going to have to make fun of him mercilessly.. when he finally decides to join the land of the living!
Man, we really do know how to live it up!

Our first time

So KK and I are leaving Ali with my mom on Saturday for her first over-nighter with Grandma and Grandpa. We are going to attend an auction/dinner that supports the different athletic programs at the high school where we both work and coach. We decided to have her stay the night with the grandparents in order to free us up to partake in some adult beverages, and not worry about waking up to feed our kiddo. I'm totally not nervous at all, just worried I might get homesick for my little baby gal. I am, however, looking forward to a little adult-time.. and I'm planning to not drink a lot so I can take advantage of a full night's uninterrupted rest! You could not believe how appealing this sounds to me! So wish me luck on my first childless night in 6 weeks (or in almost a year, if you count pregnancy)!

OH, and P.S.- I am getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow, it needs it soo bad! The fun part is that I am going to go with my original, dark blond color (something I have never done since dying it for the first time in like 9th grade) with some honey colored highlights. I am still growing it out, so I don't think I will go for anything drastic on the cut- maybe some layers and thinning of this bird's nest mess... but I'm really excited to see it darker- usually I just have blond high and lowlights put in.. I'll post pics for shizzee!

Good to know

I could survive for 1 minute, 3 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor