I don't know what's up with me lately: it's like I'm in a funk that I can't shake. I really feel that, although my husband is a great father, he is lacking in the husband and supportive companion departments. Don't get me wrong, KK is great and I'm still totally in love with him- I just feel like he forgets about me sometimes. He forgets that I am with Missy Pants every day, all day, and that sometimes I need him to hold her when she cries. He forgets that taking care of her is a full-time job, and that taking care of a newborn is not easy: it is downright exhausting, draining, and HARD. He never says thank you for doing his laundry, cleaning the dishes, mopping the floor, paying the bills, or cleaning up after him, and our daughter, all day long. He has not once offered to get up with Missy Pants during the night to feed her- not even once.
My back hurts so bad I can hardly stand it, we have no money for me to go see anyone for 2 more weeks, and he has never offered to rub it, not even when he sees me struggling to do it myself.
I just want him to say that he appreciates me. Just one thank you. I just want to figure out a way to tell him I need a little help. I'm overwhelmed. I'm tired. I need a break.
5 comments:
have you told him how you feel? I don't know about Kris but Jim does not do things without me asking...and believe me I ask. if you can't talk to him about it you should write him a little letter telling him exactly how it feels...but start out by telling him how wonderful he is ;)
Oh gosh I remember those days. I honestly think they just don't get it at all. They aren't thoughtful like we are...they don't anticipate like we do. So...you have to train them. Ask him to take a feeding, making on a weekend night. Since you're formula feeding there's no excuse for him not to. If he's uncomfortable maybe start w/ him doing it during the day with your supervision OR better yet, leave her w/ him for a few hours and get your butt out of the house! My girlfriends had to convince me to do this...it was for my own good as well as my Hubs. It forced him to manage himself.
It's hard in the beginning. Some guys are just not comfortable w/ the baby stage. It gets better...my Hubs is night and day now that the kids are walking and talking. Try and find some other moms you can get together for support. Makes a huge difference! You learn so much from each other.
Hugs to you and hang in there!
I remember feeling like that too. It does get easier and as the babies get older, the dads feel more confident about doing things. It's like they feel that because we are women, we know how to do things better. You sort of have to just leave the house and let them do it and eventually they build up the confidence. When we just had 1, I would get up with him on one weekend night and my DH would do the other night. It's only fair. Maybe during the week is our "job" but the weekend is fair game! Now that we have 2 though, it's generally just chaos! He does anything up to midnight (he likes staying up) and I do mornings with the kids.
I want to tell you it gets better, but unfortunately, it doesn't :( Sooooorrry! The other day Hubs rocked him to sleep and he totally thought he was done for the day... *sigh. What us women have to do.
All I can say is THEY JUST DON'T GET IT! That pretty much sums it up..they just don't understand what a toll it can take on us. Since your formula feeding he can (should) help out. :)At least on his days off, he could give you a break. I'm breastfeeding so it would be pointless for my hubby to wake up. :(
I also suggest leaving her with him for a few hours..just run to Target(or anywhere) and walk around...*force* him to learn what to do.
After a few tears and bloodshot eyes Hubby got the point, but A. is almost 7 mos. so be patient, it takes time. Tell him how you feel. Also, tell him positive things, too! It will get better dear! :)
Post a Comment