Monday, October 25, 2010

A better day- part 1

Please excuse my o-so-vague prayer from Friday. I have had a lot going on emotionally, and it was too much for me to write down.  Thankfully, things are better today...
 I volunteer and a young mom support group at my church,every other Monday.  We used to be a teen mom support group, but as our teen moms are growing and still wanting to come to the meetings, we had to change our title.  One of the moms that comes to the group, I will call her B, was also a student at the high school where I teach (she graduated last spring). B has a baby girl, C, who is 3 months old.  C's dad is totally not involved, and B's parents are currently estranged and not helping at all.  Anyway,  I had a current student come to me and report that B was partying too much, not living anywhere permanent, and leaving C at random people's houses.  The student's rendition was that B left C at a "crack-head's" house, and when B finally went to pick her up, they hadn't changed her diaper at all and her legs were total diaper rash.
So I of course call B right away, ask her where she is at, and arrange to pick her up after school.  I know from experience that teenagers tend to exaggerate, and I wanted to see for myself before making a call to child services. 
I am happy to report that the student's story was totally blown out of proportion.  B is living with a family in town (white-trash, somewhat irresponsible, but at least a permanent place that she has a room for her and baby).  When I picked her up, C was totally under dressed for the weather, and had a soaked diaper, but no diaper rash and was happy and "normal".... B is totally partying, but justifies it in the fact that the family she is living with tells her she is 19, have fun!  My opinion differs in that: when you get knocked up, you gotta own up to your decisions, and make a sacrifice.. which I nicely told B... who knows if she was listening.

Why my heart breaks is because that sweet, petite little baby girl is not being loved the way I wish she was.  I do not think her diaper is changed as often as I would change it, and I do not think she is being fed as often as I would feed her (she is not starving, but probably not getting enough feedings for her age).  I don't think she has a stable environment; a warm, cuddly bed to sleep in; and a mom who is smart enough to figure all this out on her own.  B is trying her best, but it isn't the best. It is the best for a dingy 19 year old girl who loves her baby, but also is a selfish 19 year old who cannot prioritize.  THAT is what breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because she is not the only dumb teenage mom who is putting herself before her baby, and not seeing anything wrong with it.  I see 80 teenage kids every single day who were raised the same way. And while they survive, and some turn out to be functioning members of society, it still breaks my heart. children deserve better than that.  That is why my heart hurts.

and because my husband is somewhat clueless, but I'll save that post for tomorrow...

Friday, October 22, 2010

My Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Please be near to me. Please relieve the emotional burdens that I am carrying on my heart as of late.  Please help me to draw from your strength and look to you for guidance and understanding.  Please help me release my emotions and not feel so burdened.  And please help those that my heart hurts for.

I love you and I thank you for never leaving my side. 

Amen

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Alive- but busy as all get out!

I'm still here! And the Jelli family is alive and trucking- happy and healthy! Although both girls are currently suffering from terrible colds...
Work's still kicking my butt; but after 6 weeks of being back, I finally feel like I'm gaining back control!

So, until I get a few more minutes to sit here and type... here's some pictures of the girls and their happen ins as of late!

Ali Bananas is as cute as ever. (And the girl loves herself some stickers!) She is so smart and articulate- she makes me laugh every single moment I am with her! We are so lucky to have as sweet a girl as her.. the terrible twos are pretty good, thus far!


And my Sweet Baby Avery is getting so very big!  She is already 5 1/2 months old- crazy!  She is eating rice cereal twice a day like a champ, and is finally sleeping through the night- woot woot!  We love her so very very much.. and her chubby lil self!

... so back to my life as a full-time teacher and mom!  Holy Crap, it's a whirlwind! 
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