Friday, February 26, 2010

Drama in the E.R.

Poor Ali had her first trip to the E.R. yesterday. Apparently she was messing with some toy at daycare (she is getting 4 teeth and puts everything in her mouth lately) and the toy cut the underside of her tongue pretty badly. She was bleeding for awhile (tongues are bleeders!) and daycare was worried she hit something or clipped that little thingy under her tongue that attaches it to the mouth.
So I left school to pick her up, with KK following close behind, both of us panicked but trying not to freak out until we saw her... we ended up in the E.R.- she was so brave when the doctor examined her and didn't even cry when he was snooping around her mouth! Turns out she just took a pretty good chunk out of the bottom of her tongue - but it will heal... pretty quickly as tongues tend to do. I was so thankful she didn't do anything to mess with her speech patterns, or hit a major artery to render stitches. I stayed home with her the rest of the day- and even though she was in a lot of pain (remember, teething +mouth injury), she did get to have a special treat of an orange slushy and ended up being a pretty good little trooper.
She was back to her old, happy go lucky, funny self this morning, so we sent her off to daycare with her lunchbox packed full of "squishy foods"... which she is not too happy about as the girl really enjoys herself some crackers :)
Oh, the drama of being a parent.. .and I'm sure it's just beginning!

... and in the mean time, this little baby girl in my belly is giving me alotta trouble! She is a mover and a shaker, and she is cramping my style big time (I'm sure she feels the same way). I feel like I'm getting beat up from the inside! She is also sitting really low- she is actually pushing my cervix down so far that I can physically see and feel the difference (sorry, that was a little TMI) and my sciatic nerve is causing both of my legs to go numb throughout the day! Oh, and Braxton Hicks...Fun stuff... glad I've got 2 months of this left!
AND softball tryouts start today, so tons of time standing on my feet beyond my normal work day- why do I do this to myself?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The apology

So thank you to all my blog sistas out there- your kind words and encouragement really helped me to validate and feel better about my situation. It always helps to know that we all have men struggles and that I am not alone. I have come to rely on you for advice and support as I grow up and live out my life as a mother and wife. I appreciate you all so much, and your comments meant a lot to me. So THANK YOU!
After posting my blog, I felt like I had sorted out MY feelings, and knew exactly where I stood concerning the issue. KK was still trying to sweep everything under the rug: i.e. he wrote me an email asking what I wanted for dinner, how was Ali this morning at drop-0ff, blah blah. I wrote back and said "just stop. Stop trying to act like we are OK, when we both know we are not. You are hurting my feelings even more"
I felt good saying this- it was my way of addressing what was going on without making it a huge deal at work. And it worked.
KK walked into the door last night, sat down, and apologized. It wasn't drawn out, it wasn't dramatic, it was straight-forward, well-thought out, and to the point. He recognizes that his interpretation of making my day special (staying home for the weekend instead of traveling with the team, painting Ali's furniture) was not my interpretation. He said he needs to do more to make me feel special, and that he knows he is not good at interpreting those situations, and it is something he needs to work on, and will work on.
Our conversation was quick, we moved on, and I feel like a huge boulder has been lifted off my chest. It makes me happy that he worked through everything by himself (I wish it wouldn't have taken him 2 days) but that he came out on the other side wiser and a better husband, and that he did it on his own accord, without my showing him in the right direction. We are making progress here, ladies!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I don't even know where to start. I don't like airing my dirty laundry out on the internet, but I feel like I need to put my feelings down somewhere, to help me sort them out, and figure out what is going on in my life.
Sunday was my birthday. I am a firm believer that birthdays are meant to be celebrated. I try to make my family and friends feel special on their birthday- no matter how big or small I can make the celebration- I believe it is the thought that counts.

My husband did nothing for me on my birthday. He didn't forget, he just chose not to acknowledge the day with any special or thoughtful gesture. He did not make me breakfast, he did not give me a card, he did not have a gift- he did not even offer an excuse as to why he chose to not make my birthday special.
The thing is, this made me feel worthless. Like I am not special enough to him to even make an effort on my birthday. I feel like I make excuses for his unthoughtfullness and his inability towards being romantic or giving to me. I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to love and give my life to a man who can't even remember his wife on her birthday.
It isn't fair that he could not do some small gesture to show me that he remembers how special I am on my birthday. That's not OK- I am his wife- it is unacceptable for him to slide on this day.

Today is Day Two of me not speaking to him. I slept on the couch last night. On Sunday night, as we were laying in bed and the disappointment was setting in- I told him he hurt my feelings. He knew why and told me, but did not offer any explanation or apology. He barely even spoke to me when I brought it up. I have not spoken to him since then.. and I am now in a state of waiting. He tried yesterday to be nice and pretend like it never happened- offering to do things for me like pick up Ali from school and load my car for me this morning. But this time, this hurts my heart, and I don't want to let it go. This isn't fair to me, and this is not how I am going to have MY special day be for the next 60 years of our marriage.
I am sticking up for myself, and sticking to my guns. Because this hurts my heart. Not my pride, not makes me mad, it hurts my heart down deep- and that does not happen very easily with me. I hate being sad, and I hate living in a home with someone I am so saddened by, and now angry with, that I cannot even look at him. I hate that I am sitting in my classroom, my place of work, crying about this. And I want to cry harder, but I can't, because I am at work. I hate that I have to blog about something like this, and make a man who is otherwise a good person look bad and be judged by people who do not know him.
I feel broken, and I feel that this is not mine to fix. I just wonder how long it is going to take- and I do not even know at this point what I am expecting.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Prayer Request

Please send up a quick prayer to heaven for my good friend, Lindsay. She was 6 weeks pregnant and miscarried yesterday. Her and her husband have been married since September (we actually found out I was pregnant on her wedding day), and were sooo excited to be pregnant, and they are just devastated.
Makes me so very thankful for my babies and their health!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Weekend Project: make Ali's Bathroom Super cute!

Awhile ago, I decided to paint Ali's bathroom lime green. Needless to say, the color was too bright; I knew it, my husband liked to tease me about it; and it never grew on me. So when we found out we were having another little girl, I decided that was my "out" to changing the bathroom, without admitting defeat. I could now make it as girlie as I wanted, seeing as two sweet girls would be sharing it come May.

So this weekend, my momma came over, and helped me paint it a subtle, pretty, non-shocking lavender color. Oh helk- I'm not gonna explain it: here's pictures of the final, oh-so-cute you could not believe it, project:

Ali loooooooovvvveeeesss kitty kitty, and is always on the lookout for cats in the neighborhood- this way, she has her very own - low maintenance- kitty kitty! I found this vinyl wall mural online... and She loves it! We have to go give it smoochies about 100 times a day :)

Those little figurines in the window sill are kinda hard to see... they are from my fairy collection, which I have had since I was a little girl. It was special that I found a way to pass them on to my girls :) and in a great place that they cannot touch! LOL

I am so jealous of the super cute, super girlie bathroom! But hey, when your daughter is this stinkin cute.....

how can you resist giving her everything?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Dripping with romance

Seeing as Valentine's Day is Sunday, I thought I would tell you about my experiences with the man of my dreams (aka my husband) and the holiday dedicated to love.
So whenever I mention Valentine's Day to Kris, in any way shape or form- he says that I once told him I didn't like Valentine's Day- which I could of- but it was probably before we were seriously dating and I wanted to impress him and make sure he knew I wasn't high maintenance or something totally dorky like that.
Which really, I don't think Valentine's Day is that big of a deal- but I do think it is important that we pause on that day and tell each other how important we are to each other- because sadly enough, we probably don't do that enough. (We both suck at being romantic, seriously, I'm as bad as he is).
So on our first V-Day as a couple, I brought him a stupid card telling him he's hot or something cheesy, cause we weren't "in love" yet, and I didn't want to freak him out (this was when I was still trying to woo him into keeping me around forever). So on V-Day, we were hanging out, and at about 4:00 he said- I guess we better go get something to eat, in a restaurant, because it's Valentine's Day. And we better go now to beat the crowds. So we did, we went to my favorite Mexican Restaurant, Toro Viejo, and each had a seafood chimichanga and margaritas. And it was fun, and the food was muy bueno, and it was sooo not romantic. And that's the only Valentine's Day I can really remember of having any significance out of the 6 that we have spent together (see, I told you I was super romantic).
So on Sunday, I am going to present my husband with a card that Ali colored, and tell him how much I love him, and we are going to pick out carpet for Ali's big girl bedroom. Cause we are dripping with romance around our house... and really- who wants to see a 28 week pregnant lady in some lingerie?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I love You, Ali Bananas

I never understood the depth of my mom's love until I had Ali. I never would get why she was always hugging and kissing on me- almost to the point where I would be annoyed with her. Now that I have my own sweet girl, I get where she is coming from- and I am thankful beyond words that my mom loves me as much as she does... and she taught me how to be a good mom who is full of love for my children.

Ali brightens every part of my life. I am so blessed to have such a sweet, smart, caring little 1 1/2 year old who is so easy to parent and play with. She just amazes me every minute of every day, and I cannot believe how much I love her.

I am getting VERY anxious to meet her little sister, and to have 2 little girls to hug and love on, every single day. Children are such a gift and a pleasure- I thank God every day for giving me the gift of my children. I hope Ali knows in her heart that I love her so much, and even if I do annoy her, I want the very best for her that she deserves.
I took this picture of her with my cell phone over the weekend. My mom bought her this gigantic dog and she insisted on sleeping with it. She is hilarious! Looking at this picture makes me want to rush outta this job and go pick her up just to give her a squeeze and tell her how much she means to me! I know she'll understand my love one day... when she has babies of her own :)

Friday, February 5, 2010

Awesome product find!

A few months ago, I decided to buckle down and make a commitment go all-natural in my home. My husband has HUGE nasal/allergy/sinus issues, and he DRIVES ME NUTS every time I clean because he throws such a drama fit about the smell of my cleaning products.
So one night, as I'm bathing Ali in a tub I just bleached and hoping that I got it all cleaned out so it doesn't burn her sweet angel skin... I thought that I was really going to put some research into creating a more natural home environment for my family, without compromising the effectiveness of the product (remember, I am a clean freak people).
After searching and researching, I have recently been introduced to a great company out of Southern Idaho that offers a huge range of AWESOME , earth-friendly products. I have begun converting my house over to using all-natural products- and these products REALLY WORK! I am so excited that my husband is happier, I feel like my baby, and my pregnant self are happier and healthier, and I just feel so good about what I am doing for the environment.
...come to find out, this company sells tons of great stuff for weight-loss/ supplements/ makeup/laundry/toothpaste and the list goes on and on.
I thought of a lot of YOU sweet people: my bloggy friends, and how we talk about all the harmful stuff that we are giving to our kids these days, and thought some of you might benefit from what I've found!
So... if any of you out there are interested in hearing about it- please email me and I would love to hook you up with my awesome find!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Spaghetti Face

We have been craaaazy busy this week with after school activities... but real quick I wanted to post some pics of Ali eating her most favorite food of all times.... SPAGHETTI!!!

Monday, February 1, 2010

AND the winner is...

A big CONGRATS to my giveaway winner: Andria! She won Melissa and Doug's beading kit for her son, Blake... she's also got another bun in the oven, so this will come in handy two-fold!

Thanks everyone for playing in my very first giveaway, how fun was that?
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