Saturday, January 31, 2009

On the Mend

After a week's worth of sleepless nights, our sweet little gal finally got some sleep! (and so did her momma)  After taking Missy Pants to the doctor yesterday morning and seeing no change in her oxygen intake, I was really worried we would not make it through the weekend without a trip to the hospital.  We have been diligent about her breathing treatments and keeping her hydrated...
And this morning I think we have turned the corner.  Ali woke up with a big smile on her face- the first time in a week!  I was so happy to see my little ray of sunshine had returned.  She still has a cough that rattles her whole body and sometimes makes her cry, but I think she is working some of that gunk out of her lungs and obviously feels so much like her old self after a good night's sleep... and we all needed it!   

Today we will continue to keep up with her medication,and making sure to give her lots of squeezes and loves :).. and hopefully our baby will be back to her sweet self in no time!

... I'm sooo anxious to see how daddy does with her-just the two of them- on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday- should make for some interesting blogging- hee hee!

So give all your sweet babies some squeezes this weekend !  I know I'm so thankful for my sweet angel girlie and for her tough little immune system !

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Poor Sweet Baby

My sweet sweet baby girl is still sick :(   I received a call from our daycare lady this morning when I was working telling me that Ali was wheezing today and just seemed to be getting worse with her cold.  I called the doctor and KK took her in this afternoon.
Turns out our poor girl has RSV, a virus that only babies get that affects their lungs and breathing. First of all, let me say I am sooo thankful to the woman who watches Ali for picking up on her wheezing!  I just thought he
r cold was running it's course... first time mom alert!

The doctor prescribed singulair to help clear her airways, and she is on breathing treatments with a nebulizer every four hours. She has to sleep sitting up, so we will try her in her swing tonight and see how that goes.  Hopefully our little family can get some sleep - after 3 nights in a row of the sweet angel crying and coughing all night long, we are all exhausted!  

Momma is going to stay home with her tomorrow (thank goodness- I'm not feeling too great myself) and Daddy will stay home next week because he has more sick days.  I take her back to the doc tomorrow morning, hopefully they will see some improvement in her oxygen intake, otherwise baby girl will have to be admitted to the hospital :-( 
Please send up prayers for me sweet girl!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


So this is how cold it is here:  one of my ninth graders was walking to school yesterday morning and slipped on some black ice in the crosswalk and... get this.. SLID across the road into the snow bank, which was SO FROZEN that he broke his tibia!  I know right- UNBELIEVABLE!  That is how FRIGGIN COLD it has been here lately.  And I think the high school (2 words, little meatball) might have forgotten to turn on the heat lately because I could not feel my fingers when teaching last period today- it's like crazy madness around here!
And don't worry, softball season (which I coach) starts February 27th- good luck with that one!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Family Pictures!

I'm so excited!!! We are going to take Missy Pants for our first ever family pictures on Sunday!  After hearing good things about prices and picture quality, we decided to try Kiddie Kandids... I am so hoping they live up to our expectations.  
My biggest fear is that our little bug will decide to not be happy during picture time, and we'll end up with a zillion pics of her not smiling.  I scheduled the pics for noon, so hopefully she will be fresh from her morning nap and ready to dazzle the camera!  
Now begins the daunting process of finding the perfect outfits...

I'm also really hoping that Missy Poo gets over her cold before then.  I also think she might be having some issues with her teeth: Although she has been sleeping great through the night,  last week she hardly napped at daycare and would not nap in the afternoon at home either.  She did not nap at all on Saturday.  Sunday she started to be very whiny and almost angry. She would chew on her toys (normal) but then get violent with them, shove them in her mouth, and scream.  After ruling out that she was not possessed, I gave her some Tylenol and laid her down for a nap. She slept for almost 3 hours straight! She has not done that since she was a baby baby!  So I'm thinking her teethers are starting to grow, even though I cannot feel any bumps.. I think those darn teeth are making a sneak attack.  
And then she wakes up yesterday with a flemy-sounding it is worse, and we've added a slight runny nose..poo baby. :-(  
She woke up 4 times last night just crying in her sleep. This morning she was not her usual sunshine-smiley self. I hated dropping her at daycare, but I know she is being loved on and cuddled... but it's hard cause I just wanna squeeze her all day and make her feel better. I am going to sprint outta  here after work to get her for sure!
Anyone got any tricks for making a sweet baby feel better?  

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Annoyed again!

So I'm still annoyed with my MIL... and I can't get over it!! I know you're sick of reading about it, and I'm starting to make myself sick!

 Tonight my husband coached a basketball game, and she came.  I was sitting high up in the stands partly so she wouldn't sit by me (she can't climb the bleachers) and partly because it is easier to get up and rock the baby if need be without getting in the way of other spectators.  I feel like a terrible person- I saw her walk over to where I used to sit before the baby, and when I wasn't there, she went over and sat behind the bench. I didn't even go visit her during half time!

So she called my husband after the game and apparently didn't see us sitting up in the bleachers, and I lied and said I didn't see her either.  But when he was talking to her, he said "I'll tell her to sit closer to the court next time and look for you"... umm....NO!!!  I don't want to have to sit next to that woman for an entire basketball game... and I feel HORRIBLE for feeling that way!  

I just want to tell my husband that I don't like his mom. I don't want to have to pretend to enjoy her company- which is what I do now.  It's hard enough that she comes over once a week, but now she expects us to be this big, happy family all the time.  It also makes me angry that Kris puts me in that position- I also want to tell him he cannot force me to have a relationship with her. 

And I know she is getting better- KK was happy because this is the first time his mom has come to watch one of his games sober- EVER- and she called to congratulate him after the game and remembered stuff that happened... so I should be feeling happy for him.  But the truth is, I don't.  I want  her to leave us alone.   She is obsessed with us- and I feel so smothered.  Her son is 35 years old and she is still coming to his games and calling him to congratulate him... It's like she forgets that he is a GROWN UP now. She has gone from barely caring about anything to being super involved.  And I can't help but think she does it all for show- like Ali  and Kris are prizes she can claim. I even think she wants me to be one of her prizes like "oh look at Linda, she has this happy little family to be the head of"... Bleck It's all so fake!

I know that I really need to change my heart, and I feel terrible for the way I feel towards her. I don't understand why I can't let it go and why I let it eat me up so much. I am being such a brat, part of me feels so ashamed of myself, and the other part makes me want to just scream. I just need to accept her for what she is and be kind.  Why can I not be kind?  I'm struggling with this- and I really want to talk to Kris, but I KNOW it will end in a fight.  I want to feel compassion and be happy that she is healing and want her to be part of her granddaughter's life- so then why do I just want her to leave us alone? 

OH yeah- she's coming over tomorrow too- even though she was JUST HERE on Wednesday... SEE!!! There I go again!!!  I need to change my attitude pronto!

Thursday, January 22, 2009


So I have a twitter profile... but I'm still trying to learn the ropes.  
My username is jelliknowles- add me to your followers and teach me how it works! 

A fun Giveaway!

And enter to win some leg huggers!!! 

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A rant

My mother-in-law dropped in for another one of her weekly visits this evening, prompting me to me totally annoyed and therefore write the following post. **warning, this post is for me to spill my feelings, so I am sorry if I get too personal or bore you!

I've talked on here about my MIL a smattering of times, but have not really told the whole story of why she gets under my skin like she does.  
So let me start from the beginning.

When I first started to date KK, he and his mother had a good relationship.  He is her only child, and she is single- so that being said- he pretty much is her sounding board and her sole caregiver, if need arise.  
KK's mom was a flaming alcoholic when we first started to date- we recently learned she was drinking a gallon of whiskey over the course of 2 days for the past 40 years- so she was hitting it pretty hard.  
So anyway,  she liked me and I kind of liked her- I always thought she was a little strange and found it so weird that she was always loaded and smelled like booze- even when she was working (for the school district) or when she would come watch Kris coach basketball.  But she always kept her distance- left us alone-hardly came over- but would call and bug Kris almost every other day.  Which was fine with me- because she stayed out of our business.
 KK's mother was a drunk and a workaholic- and she was forced out of her job (because of her drinking) about 2 years ago. So she became a lonely, depressed alcoholic.  But she still left us alone.  Then this summer she really hit rock bottom.  Her friends stepped in and brought the elephant that was always in the room to a front-she needed to stop drinking or she would kill herself and soon.  So KK and I helped her sober up- me being 8 months pregnant at the time. The summer was horrible.  She was in total denial and went through a phase where she acted 80 years old (she's 62) and would call Kris all the time and be super needy.  She made a huge scene at my baby shower and acted like it was a huge inconvenience to walk down my parents' deck to get to the shower- it was ridiculous.  You see.. she has a princess problem: if the focus is not completely on her, she throws a fit.  (She did the same thing at our wedding-you should see the pictures, no smiles from her in any of them- ri-friggin-dicoulous!)  
So anyway, she finally sobered up about September- and has now become obsessed with being a part of our lives. She wants to see Ali every friggin day- when she was first born she was coming over every day, and after I finally bitched enough KK made her just come over once a week.  Which is still too often.  KK and I are super busy people- we both teach and he coaches in the winter, and I coach in the spring.  I don't get home right now until around 3:45 or 4:00, and even though that is semi-early in the evening, I feel like I blink and it is already 6:30 (Ali's bath time). So needless to say, we don't do a lot of sitting around.  
I have tried and tried to get Kris to understand where I am coming from on this- I don't' want his mother coming over during the week because the afternoons are our precious time to spend with Ali.  We hardly have time as it is to play with her, go through her whole bedtime routine, and eat dinner, let alone entertain his mother so she can get her baby fix or whatever it is she is doing. So normally she comes over on Sundays, which is still hugely annoying but easier to deal with.  But not tonight, she called Kris and complained because he wasn't making enough time for her- even though he is coaching and not getting home until 5:30 on weeknights, AND playing 3 games a week... and so we had to have her over tonight- at 6:00.  Dinner time.  

And even though the good news is that she has finally whipped her drinking problem and is acting like a normal human being for the first time since I met her- she still bugs the crap outta me!  She drives me nuts that she cannot understand that WE have a life- a very busy life- and that this is OUR family.  I understand she is the grandma and does have rights, but it gets so old to have to accommodate her.  I know Kris feels sorry for her and that they have their own bag of issues- but I just wish he could tell her NO and that we are not trying to avoid her or leave her out of anything, but that she has to give us our space.  She totally does not understand at all- she even followed me up to Ali's bath tonight to say goodbye to her in the tub!  
It takes everything inside of me to not just scream at my husband.  I also feel horrible for feeling the way I do.  I just don't understand it- why does she have to be so needy to the point where she disregards our family completely, and only focuses on her needs?    Kris acts like it is a chore to have her over, and he treats her like an obligation more than a mother. On the other hand, he defends her to the core and becomes so upset if I even mention my feelings.  I try to remember that his upbringing was horrible and nothing compared to my own, but I just get so sick sometimes. The woman puts a pit in my stomach- and I can't help but feel she is intruding on my life.  I am not sure if she is trying to make up for lost time with my husband or if she really doesn't have anything else to do and forgets that the rest of the world has a life- it just does not make sense. There are so many other issues that I am leaving out... the way she totally ignored Kris through his childhood- how she ruined my wedding and baby shower by making it about her ... how she totally embarrassed me in my school district by being my "drunk mother-in-law"... how people ask me if she is doing OK because of the way she looks and how she acts like she is 100 years old.. how she competes with my parents to be the best grandparent and bad mouths my mother... that the excuse my husband gives is that "she is what she is" and we have to accept it... the list could go on and on...

The bottom line for me is that I do not in anyway want to seclude her from our lives, but I just wish she would leave us alone and let us decide when we can schedule time for her.  Ali does not need to see her every week in order to have a relationship with her.  I have an awesome relationship with my grandparents and I don't even know if I saw them once a month growing up! 
It just makes me depressed sometimes- because she will never go away.  When I married Kris, I married her too.  And I do think I work myself up and make it worse then it has to be... but ONCE A WEEK- really!!!?? Is this going to continue for THE REST OF HER LIFE? And how bad will it be in 1 month when I am the one coaching until 5:30, so I only get 1 hour a night with my baby- and I have to share it with that woman!  
I just don't know what to do to handle it.  I need to resolve issues within myself I know, but I'm just hoping eventually I will get used to it.  I want to come to terms with it and accept the situation.  I do not want to get a pit in my stomach every time KK tells me she is coming over.  
It just sucks because no one understands the way I feel. And I don't know what to do to fix it.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inaugeration Day

My friends, we are witnessing an unprecedented day in American History.
Today I am filled with HOPE.  
Hope for a better America.  Hope for a brighter future for my child.  

Today, the change that America needs becomes a reality.

Today I am so thankful, and proud, to be an American!
God Bless the United States of America!

Monday, January 19, 2009

5 months old!

My big girl is 5 months old today!  It is so unbelievable to us that she has been with us for that long... and at the same time, I feel like we were just bringing her home yesterday! 
It is amazing how fast she has changed- every day I feel like she's developed a new "trick" to share with us.  Yesterday she started to say "da-da", and although she is not associating it with either KK or myself, we are so proud of her first words!  And by the way, this little girl does not quit talking! She babbles all day long- even when she is eating! 
Ali baby, you are the light of my life and I love you more and more every minute of the day.  
You make life so meaningful. I do not know how I ever lived without you. You're a miracle: my sweet gift from heaven.  
I just want to thank you for making me a better person, and for bringing so much joy into mine and daddy's lives. I will never find the words to express how much you mean to me, and just how much love I hold for you.
There are no bad days with you, girlie girl!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

She can Cook!

I have been so busy/tired lately that I cannot even see straight!  I am pathetic- if I am not in bed by 9:00 I am exhausted the next day.  Last night, however, after getting the Bug-A-Boo to bed, I crawled into my comfy covers and had a great night's sleep- thank goodness!  I feel so much better and more productive today. 

Last night was a great night in our kitchen.  I cooked crab cakes, using a delicious recipe that I got from  Andrea's cooking blog.  Now, you have to realize that any time 
a.) I cook and 
b.) it turns out to be edible, is a small victory for me.  
My husband is a great cook, and usually handles those duties in our kitchen.  Sometimes I try to help him out, especially now that we are in the middle of the basketball season and he gets home late from practice.  What I serve usually ends up being made with either a can of cream of mushroom soup or is made in the crock pot, and does not usually contain the type of flavor that you would remember as being wonderful.  
So when something I cook turns out to be good (i.e. we both want seconds) I am a very Proud, Happy Camper.  
I'm telling ya, if you want to make something easy peezy and delicious- copy that crab cake recipe down!  I even used canned crab and they were still good!   Seriously, I was in such a good mood after dinner that I got a second burst of energy and did all the dishes and a load of laundry :)

And this brings me to the next story of how stinkin cute my husband is.  While I was doing the dishes, he was hanging on the couch with Ali Monster.  (We have an open layout to our kitchen/dining room/living room, so I could see and hear what they were doing).    KK was playing with this little red phone rattle that Ali has.  He was saying "ring, ring" then putting it up to Ali's ear and saying "hello, this is Ali" and then putting it up to his ear and saying "hello, this is dad".  It was so cute to hear him call himself dad :)  .  Ali was looking at him with those eyes full of love,  and he just melted my heart.  In all the times I want to pull my hair out and strangle that man,  he can do something so sweet and really turn my crank.  I'm so thankful for him- he's a great partner, good husband, and a fabulous dad.  

Seriously, what more could I ask for?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Weekend Recap

KK and I had a night sans-baby this weekend! We dropped Missy Pants at Grandma's and met up with some of our dearest group of friends.  We all met at  over at one  of our friend's homes, where a stretch limo (!) was waiting to take us to Spokane, WA.  We ate at a well-known restaurant called Clinkerdagger, and although I was not too excited about my meal, we did share some great bottles of wine to get our night  started off right!  After dinner, we headed to a local venue and watched the comedian, Ron White, perform. He was hilarious, we had such a good time!  Afterward we went to a fancy bar in downtown Spokane and drank... you guessed it... more wine!  After sharing a delightful dessert and some great gossip, we all piled back into the limo and headed home.  It was so nice to be home at a decent hour, and to get to sleep in on Sunday morning!  
We had a great time and so enjoyed our date.. and Missy Pants had so much fun at Gramma's, so all-in-all it was a fantastic time! 
With all of our focus on being mom and dad, I forget how much I love my husband and just how much fun we have together.  He really is my perfect mate, I was reminded of that in our time together this weekend.  We need to make it a priority to spend some adult time together at least once a month... it's amazing how much more we appreciate each other after having fun- we get back to us again- and that's important!
So to all you new moms out there... make your husband a priority!  Plan a date night ASAP!!
He, and you, will thank me for it!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Snow Days!

Our little fam- damily has enjoyed the past two days off together:  after the tremendously horrible day of snow we had on Monday, our delightful administration decided to cancel school Tuesday and Wednesday-because now the snow is melting due to the pineapple express winds hitting us from Hawaii. So we went from record-breaking snow to being in a flood warning until 3:00 Friday.... and I digress... 
 Having the mid-week off  was a fun little break!  I enjoyed the extra days home with my little Bug-A-Boo.. and I think she enjoyed having momma and daddy to pal around with too! 

The big girl tried her first bites of squash today!!!  It was hilarious! She would flair her nostrils and make the "yucky face" but then open her mouth for more!  She is such a little oinker that she didn't even make a mess.  It's so fun to introduce her to new things... I can't wait for three days to pass so I can try some peas!  She's such a big girl and growing so unbelievably fast- she just fascinates me how alert and aware of her surroundings she is.  I know every parent says this but I really think she is an intuitive little thing. Very smart and interested in what is going on around her- it's amazing to watch her reach for the dogs when they walk by or look inside a cup I'm drinking to see what's in there.And she is making the best noises! She is totally aware of her little (I mean BIG) voice, and is not afraid to use it! 
She is just so cool- every day is something new.. it makes living life sooo much more blessed, and much more interesting! 

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Blog Award!

Woot! Woot! I'm so excited to receive a blog award from one of my bloggy "sistas" , KDLOST.  

Thank you so much for bestowing this award on me- receiving a blog award gives me the validation that what I am doing on here isn't just mindless and somewhat idiotic (thoughts I sometimes feel about my writing) but that people do enjoy reading what I have to share... and that I sometimes even make sense

So thanks again for the award, KD- I feel blessed!  And without further ado I present...

A message from the creator of this award:

"Blogs who receive this award are 'exceedingly charming' say its authors. This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY-nearness in space, time and relationships. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

And I would like to take this moment to pass on this accolade to the following beautiful bloggers:

Lindsay because sometimes I think we lead parallel lives

Sara because I love to read  about Miss Miya Mei

Andria because you are a wonderful blogger

Kim because reading about your kids makes my day... and you give good advice!

Babs because you're a great momma

Andrea because I just love ya!

Alexa who is an inspiration

Hot Momma I'm sooooo excited for you!!

It was very hard for me to pick just 8 blogs because there are so many that I love... thanks to you all who have become my friends and confidants- I couldn't do it without ya! I so look forward to hearing about you and from  you... thank you for making the journey with me

Monday, January 5, 2009

Back to School... back to school

So here I am back at work- it was so hard to leave my sweet buggie at daycare today- but I did it! I reeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllly miss her- I've already texted to check on how she's doing about 1 million times!   It did, however, make me feel good that my friend Lynne (who watches Ali) was so excited and happy to see her when we dropped her off this morning. 

I'm also mad because we totally should not have had school today.  It is snowing AGAIN! And SUPER HARD- so hard, in fact, that we are currently under a winter storm advisory. All the area schools are closed, but noooooooooooo, not my freaking district. It is so bad that the kids are having to walk in the street to school- the sidewalks are not shoveled because of all the freaking snow- and WAL MART even had to close because of excess snow on the roof! I mean, c'mon: if Wal Mart is closed for freak's sake, then the world should stop turning.  I would give anything to squeak one more day with my baby- but oh well, such is life. 

And... I have to mention that I started the Twilight series on Friday- I have three chapters left of the first book- and I'm obsessed! I absolutely love to read, and this is the first book I have started since Missy Pants was born.  It is soooo goood! I read it every chance I get- so I've been using nap times and after baby's in bed (see...I'm already working on one of my New Year's resolutions!) Seriously people, I know I'm late to get on the Twilight train, but if you haven't started it, you need to! It's soo good I'm going to teach it in my Young Adult Lit class next year! 

And one more thing on a pop culture note- I'm so sad that one of my favorite shows, Lipstick Jungle is probably going to get cancelled! I'm so upset- I LOVE THAT SHOW! I DVR it and look forward to watching it during Ali's afternoon feedings on Mondays after school... it's what gets me through the day sometimes, people! I feel like calling NBC and pleading with the powers that be to please keep it on!!!!!!!!!!!  Boo, that ruins my whole life (not really, but I feel like being dramatic).
I even looked up some ways to help (who knows if this really works?) convince the producers not to cancel it: visit this site- and show your LJ support!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The First Day of 2009

 2008 really pooped us out!

My clan enjoyed an uneventful, snow-filled 1st day of 2009.  Missy Pants was as cute as ever. She cooed and laughed in her exesaucer, and managed to flash a great smile in one of her new bows !

Seriously people, you have to check out the cute stuff Lindsay makes on her website- I'm totally obsessed and am planning to budget money from each paycheck to accessorize Miss Ali! She now of course has got to have a bow on each and every day! Plus, I've found awesome presents to buy for all the new babies in my life :)

I thought long and hard about what my resolutions for 2009 are going to be, and here is what I came up with:
  • I am going to try really hard not to be so obsessive about my house.  I seriously clean some part of this house each and every day.  I never relax because I'm always cleaning- I do not take any moments of Ali's nap time to relax, and when I do, I feel really guilty for not using the time more "wisely".  I've gotten so bad that I never feel a sense of accomplishment when I do have the whole place cleaned.  I really need to stop stressing out about it and realize that it isn't what matters- and really, my house is probably over-cleaned... and REALLY - who cares!?
  • I also am going to work on softening my heart towards my mother -in-law.  I need to stop being selfish and realize that she isn't doing anything she does to be mean or infringe on our lives in anyway.  She really is a messed up old woman who doesn't have anything else besides us, and I need to embrace that.  
  • Another resolution I have is to not feel contempt towards my husband for not helping me as much as I think he should.  When I really stop and assess the situation, I've got it better than most women. My husband does a lot more then what I ask of him- he is an amazing man and I am so lucky, and I need to remember that.  I also need to ask for his help instead of just assume he should know when I need it- after all, he is a guy... and I've learned they're pretty straight forward in their assumptions of the world.

So there ya have it.  And really, if I do improve on all of these things, I will be a happier me! And who doesn't want to be happier !

And with that, I'm off to drink my 3rd glass of wine (woo! woo! I'm such a party animal, I know) and take myself a bubble bath!


Happy New Year!!!!!!!!   

I don't know if it can get any better than 08' for this family- 09' should be a year
 full of firsts! 

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