Monday, October 25, 2010

A better day- part 1

Please excuse my o-so-vague prayer from Friday. I have had a lot going on emotionally, and it was too much for me to write down.  Thankfully, things are better today...
 I volunteer and a young mom support group at my church,every other Monday.  We used to be a teen mom support group, but as our teen moms are growing and still wanting to come to the meetings, we had to change our title.  One of the moms that comes to the group, I will call her B, was also a student at the high school where I teach (she graduated last spring). B has a baby girl, C, who is 3 months old.  C's dad is totally not involved, and B's parents are currently estranged and not helping at all.  Anyway,  I had a current student come to me and report that B was partying too much, not living anywhere permanent, and leaving C at random people's houses.  The student's rendition was that B left C at a "crack-head's" house, and when B finally went to pick her up, they hadn't changed her diaper at all and her legs were total diaper rash.
So I of course call B right away, ask her where she is at, and arrange to pick her up after school.  I know from experience that teenagers tend to exaggerate, and I wanted to see for myself before making a call to child services. 
I am happy to report that the student's story was totally blown out of proportion.  B is living with a family in town (white-trash, somewhat irresponsible, but at least a permanent place that she has a room for her and baby).  When I picked her up, C was totally under dressed for the weather, and had a soaked diaper, but no diaper rash and was happy and "normal".... B is totally partying, but justifies it in the fact that the family she is living with tells her she is 19, have fun!  My opinion differs in that: when you get knocked up, you gotta own up to your decisions, and make a sacrifice.. which I nicely told B... who knows if she was listening.

Why my heart breaks is because that sweet, petite little baby girl is not being loved the way I wish she was.  I do not think her diaper is changed as often as I would change it, and I do not think she is being fed as often as I would feed her (she is not starving, but probably not getting enough feedings for her age).  I don't think she has a stable environment; a warm, cuddly bed to sleep in; and a mom who is smart enough to figure all this out on her own.  B is trying her best, but it isn't the best. It is the best for a dingy 19 year old girl who loves her baby, but also is a selfish 19 year old who cannot prioritize.  THAT is what breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because she is not the only dumb teenage mom who is putting herself before her baby, and not seeing anything wrong with it.  I see 80 teenage kids every single day who were raised the same way. And while they survive, and some turn out to be functioning members of society, it still breaks my heart. children deserve better than that.  That is why my heart hurts.

and because my husband is somewhat clueless, but I'll save that post for tomorrow...

3 comments:

Taylor said...

How heartbreaking! I will pray for them . . . and you.

Stacey said...

That poor baby girl. It's always so hard to watch the children suffer, and they're always the ones who do. You're so great to volunteer with that group and I'm sure you influence them more than you know. You really are amazing. And I, too, will say a little prayer for you all.

Lindsay said...

Ohhhhh dear! So I am sick, and now I'm crying. Making for a super stopped up nose. I'm sorry dear. That breaks my heart. Then I think there is a nice family that wants to adopt a baby so bad and could take much better care of babies than "kids" can. I know it happens more often than I like to even imagine, but still heartbreaking none the less.

Good for you for going to check out the situation, that's awesome.
XOXO

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