Dear Pregnant Body,
Please go into labor soon because this false labor bull crap you are doing right now is not fun to a.) sleep through and b.) teach through. The Braxton Hicks are annoying and somewhat painful and I do not really see the point. ESPECIALLY since you insist on waking me up at 1:00 AM and making me walk up and down the hallway to get rid of you. I have also drank more water in the past 24 hours then the human body can really take trying to get you to go away.
I also don't appreciate you coming back to bother me while I am trying to teach a classroom full of 20 low-level, very needy 9th graders. The 9th graders neither care nor seem to have the time to let me sit in a chair and be annoyed with you.
So I'm asking you to please morph into real, baby-producing labor contractions very soon... cause I am so over this! And I want to meet my baby already!
Thank you Kindly, Kelli