My mom is a closet smoker. She has done it for basically my entire life: I can remember her smoking as a child, and then her and my godmother went through this big awakening and "quit". I was a little little girl when this happened, but I remember it clearly because I stole a piece of her nicorette gum and chewed it. Needless to say, that was not a fun taste or experience, forever burning it onto my mind.
Last weekend I went down to U of Idaho to watch the football game with my Dad. My dad is always very open with my brother and I, and I appreciate his ability to not only see us as his children, but as his best friends as well.
My dad is a smoker too, however, he does not try to hide it. The subject came up that I really want my dad to stop slowly killing himself with this awful habit. My dad is having surgery this month on his neck (he has some disks that are crushed and ruining his nerves) and he promised that the surgery will be the time he needs to stop. He also has a back up promise- if he cannot do it on his own he will get help. He knows it is important to me and his family to take care of his body, which made me happy to hear.
Now, back to my mom. My brother and I have always known she was smoking on the sly- she would go outside to "let the dogs out" and come back smelling stinky and smoky. Or we would come out to the garage and she would be frazzled and weird.
Neither my brother nor I have ever actually approached her about it because it is an awkward situation for us both. Well, I learned from my dad that my mom smokes a pack a day. A PACK!! I was figuring like 2 or 3 cigs a day to take the edge off... she's a nurse for crying in the night!
So now I'm worried. I'm worried she will develop lung cancer and my beautiful, kind, warm, loving momma will get sick. I'm so scared and worried about losing her early. I'm also angry at her for being so selfish and secretive. My dad said that she even hides it from her co-workers and best friends. It's a problem.
So, my dilemma is how to approach her. I don't even know how to talk to her about something like this, or how to bring it up. I was thinking of writing her a letter, that way she can see my feelings but not feel embarrassed or ashamed.
I don't want my mom to be ashamed. I don't want her to have a broken heart from my pain.
I just want her to quit.