Saturday was the last game of the season for my softball team. We ended up third in the state, which was disappointing as we had the talent and ability to win it all- but taking home a trophy after not making an appearance at the state tourney in 3 years was a great accomplishment for our season.
So now I'm left with a bittersweet ending. The coach in me wants to keep going, move forward, and plan for an outstanding season next year. We've got a money freshman pitcher coming in- she will definitely be the best in the state- quite possibly the best that the state of Idaho has ever seen. Needless to say, we've got a chance to go all the way again next year. I look at our underclassmen- who I've spent countless hours coaching and working with- I've seen direct improvement and feel so proud of what we've accomplished as coaches with our players- and it feels good. I've made an investment in these girls, and I'm proud of that.
... and on the other hand I see my family- my 1st priority. With Kris coaching at the college level next year, there is absolutely no way that he can be home with Ali while I am with my team. That would mean she would be spending the majority of her day at daycare. Someone else would be enjoying her; watching her grow. That is something I do not feel good about at all. That is why I have made the decision to be a mom first. I am going to stop coaching to be with my baby girl. I need to take this step, and in my heart, it feels awesome. I have no resentment or regrets. I can't wait to spend the springtime with my baby girl. There is so much fun things we will be able to do next year-so much I felt like we were missing out on together this year... and with her walking and running next year, we can enjoy the park, downtown CDA, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, bike rides oh.. the possibilities are endless. Thinking about it makes me smile.
But it's still a hard decision. Bittersweet, really.