Out of bad news comes progress

My hubster is in Wenatchee today with the basketball team he coaches, so The Missy Pants and I have just been buddying around mommy-daughter style. We went and got groceries this morning, and Missy decided she was too big for her car seat- so I spent the whole trip holding her and steering the cart, it was real fun. And to top it all off... she peed right through her diaper- so there I was holding an increasingly heavy baby with wet pants, while trying to get all the stuff we need and not forget anything! I'm definitely bringing daddy with me next time :)

Other than that, the day has been pretty low key. I think Missy Pants might have a little tummy trouble- every time she has eaten today she has arched her back in pain and then vomited a little bit. I gave her some gripe water and it did seem to help, but poo baby just wants to be held all day and have her tummy rubbed :( needless to say, I postponed holiday decorating until tomorrow with daddy is home to help!

KK did call me from the road with some sad news- a really good friend of his- who was the assistant coach for his basketball team in high school- was diagnosed with lung cancer today. He is in his 60s and has been a smoker for most his life. As a child of two smokers (my mom is a closet smoker) I really took this to heart. I have wanted to talk to my mom for forever about this- but it is so hard to bring up. I bit the bullet tonight and emailed both her and my dad. I told them that I don't want Alison to grow up without her grandparents- and that we need them in our lives! I also found a bunch of websites that offer support to quit smoking. I was totally nervous as to how my mom would react- it has been kind of a "don't ask, don't tell" around our family to not bring up her habit.
Well I just checked my email, and my mom had responded. She said she was ashamed for her habit and was thankful I finally brought it up. She promised she would quit, and she sounded really heartfelt. We probably won't ever talk about it, but I really hope that this will be the changing point for her, and my dad. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to have to face the world without my two greatest role models and supports. I fell hopeful and happy- I'll keep you posted!

Ok- my baby started to cry again... maybe a bath will help soothe the poor sweet angel?

Thanksgiving success!

Missy Pants's 1st Thanksgiving went over fabulously! We hosted- which let me tell you was way more tiring with a 3-month old... but still was fun. Taking care of Missy Pants, along with cleaning my house (remember, no cookin' for me, thank goodness-my hubby is amazing!) and getting the table set, etc. made for one tired momma and baby! Missy must have know something was up, because she hardly napped all morning, so she was a cranky crankster when our guests arrived! Thankfully, a bottle saved the day, and she was happy enough to play in her chair and let us devour a wonderful meal! It was so nice to have my Grandma over, along with my parents, one of my uncles, and my little bro and his girlfriend- who by the way is great! My brother seems to be smitten by her, and she is totally cool and easy to get along with- so I'm givin the thumbs up and I hope wedding bells come (but not for like a year at least).

After all was said and done, we had a great time- the guests were gone by 5:30; momma and Missy Pants were asleep on the couch by 7:00!!! And Missy slept all the way until 3:30!!!!!! That is her longest stretch yet- I'm hoping we are on the way to a 10 hour night soon! Who knows with our little oinker- she just cannot get enough of those ba-bas lately :)

And today was such a nice, relaxing day. We got up at our usual 6:30- so early for a holiday weekend- but not so bad when you go to bed at 7:00 hehe... then we bummed around the house for most of the morning- I cleaned up what was left to do (which was not much-thanks mom and gramma!). And then I put up our Christmas lights outside!!

Usually I am not so excited to get into the holidays, but with our little girl around this year, it is so much more fun and meaningful! She is getting to where she can see everything too, she was really into the neighbors lights through her window when she was falling asleep tonight...

My mom also gave me two pre-lit fake trees she didn't want anymore, so I added those outside on the porch. I still have some lights to hang from the windows upstairs, as well as my wreaths; but the outside is almost complete!

KK goes to Wenatchee tomorrow with the basketball team, so I think I will take the opportunity to finish decorating inside.I might also put Missy in this cute Christmas sleep n play I bought her and take some pics for the calendars I'm making for the grandparents...super cheap and easy Christmas present that they will totally love.

To end the night of holiday bliss... it's snowing!!!!!!!!!!!

Gobble Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving To You and Yours! Remember to count your blessings... you will always find you have much for which to be grateful !

XOXOXOXO

~ Kelli

Random Crap and Stuff

I feel like this week is already flying by! I CANNOT BELIEVE that it is already going to be Thanksgiving on Thursday! Thursday also happens to be KK's birthday, so getting ready for two holidays, as well as getting all my grades due at school for 12 week progress reports, has made for a busy couple of days! Yesterday my mom and I went to Cabela's and split a pair of hunting boots for Kris. I really hope he likes them, and I am so excited to give them to him... his current pair are so stinky that I make him store them in the garage, on the side furthest from the door :)
We are also hosting Thanksgiving- we decided since having Ali that we will host every holiday- that way we don't have to worry about splitting time between our two families and hopefully miss all that hassle all together.
We hosted Thanksgiving last year- KK loves to cook so we really don't mind it at all. Although we do have to clean our house and get everything ready, I still really love being home and not having to worry about getting somewhere else.
This year we are having my grandma, my uncle, my parents, my little brother, and his new girlfriend. I'm really excited, because I have not met her yet (only spied on myspace), and my brother is totally head-over -heels for her. I'm sooo happy for him and she seems really sweet and cute, it's going to be so fun! This is the first time he has had a serious girlfriend since high school, so it's really neat for me to hear him talk about her and how cute he is about the whole thing.
I'm also excited because my crazy MIL will not be attending. That woman came over to the house on Sunday and proceeded to criticize me on her opinion that I was apparently dressing my daughter in a too small outfit. According to her, Missy Pants's toes were just too scrunched, and I should change her right away. She also "spoke" for Missy Pants, and told me that Ali preferred to sit up, not lay down like I had her, and that she wanted me to put her down to play instead of play with her myself. What I felt like saying was: thanks, Mother of the Year, for helping me know what is best for my daughter... since you did such an excellent job with your own son- oh wait- you were drunk for the majority of his life.... but instead I just sat there and bit my tongue.
I did not, however, bite my tongue when she put her pissy pants on when we mentioned our holiday plans. She was not happy about us spending Christmas at home. I told her the plan when KK was outside, and when he came back in, she proceeded to ask him what his thoughts where on spending Christmas at our house, instead of with his family- after I had just told her what we decided!! It made me so mad that she tried to undermine me like that- she is such a queen bizzo sometimes, I get so mad!! I've decided I am not going to appease her anymore- I don't care if she hates me- in fact, I welcome it. That woman needs to know her place. KK is my husband, not her little pawn- and our family is not for her to control. Oh she boils my blood- that woman!


And on a completely different note.... Missy Pants is now eating 7 oz of formula every 3-3.5 hours! I used to freak out about over feeding her- but seriously- she was sooo hungry when she was only eating 6 oz that she would scream after finishing her bottle and would be starving only 2.5 hours later. I'm hoping we are on the right track- poor baby cried for 1 hour straight last night until her mean momma finally fed her! I'm just gonna feed the oinky baby- she is so much happier with a full tummy!

Whoo Hoo for New Technology!

We got a new laptop today!! We have been talking about updating the Dell laptop my dad gave me about 4 years ago for a couple of months now... it was so full of documents and random files, plus dumb programs that pretty much eat up space...and today we went to Walmart and bought a new Toshiba! It's really nice and so much faster then the Dell- I'm so excited! My husband is sooo lucky that he will have this fancy schmancy machine to finish his master's degree on- our old comp was full to the brim with my documents, plus millions of media files (wonder who could be in those?)... so it's really nice to have an upgrade! Now I don't have to do all my internet work (i.e. shopping, facebook and blogging) when I am at work! I can actually surf the web at home in normal-time! I'm so excited!

Also, our little Miss -3- month- old is just coming to life! She can hold her head up on her own now, we put her in the bumbo for the first time yesterday and she loved it! She was looking at her feet like "hey, what are those things?" It was hilarious.
It is amazing how much she is changing and growing into her little personality... it's beginning to feel like she is reciprocating our love for her and it is so fun to interact with her!
Her favorite thing to do lately is look into the mirror at herself and mommy and daddy- she's pretty much obsessed with her reflection :) She also laughs and talks to us all day long- we're not sure at this point if we will ever be able to shut her up again!
We took her to her first (of many, many) basketball games last night at the high school. She totally loved looking around at everything (daddy was pissed because she was watching the cheerleaders more than the players, but I chalked it up to the shiny pon-poms... we hope!). She didn't even freak out at loud noises, like when the buzzer sounded or the band played- and she fell asleep about 45 mins into the game and didn't wake up once! We're glad she likes it in the gym- it will soon become her second home- daddy's season starts next week!
I just can't put into words how much I love, and how thankful I am, for our sweet little girl. She is such a blessing, and I love her more and more every single day. I'm trying to squeeze in as much time with her now... I'm waiting for the day when she tells me to quit giving her kisses all the time! Until then, she's subject to my infinite cuddling!

Hang up the Phone!

Screw Vonage. That is all I have to say about that company. In September, KK and I looked into having a home phone line installed just in case someone was at the house watching Missy Pants and didn't have a cell phone or something... so we wanted it for safety issues.
Well I researched it online and found the Vonage offered the best deal. So I signed up, got a local number, and we where all good.... WRONG!!!!!! The stupid number the damn lady gave me was NOT local at all- so people who would try to call us would have to dial long distance, even if they were calling locally. So, about 3 weeks ago, I called Vonage and said we want to cancel. Well this dumb lady told me that they would have local service in our area within the month, and to call back then and she would reassign me a number. So I called today, and NOPE, they did not have our area covered still. So I said, OK< class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">freakin dollars!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so pissed- I went round and round with them- then finally got sick of wasting time on the phone, and hung up. So now I'm out almost $100 for a damn line I NEVER EVEN USED.
My blood is freaking boiling!

To all the Beautiful, Invisible Moms Out There...

Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!
Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.
We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.