Wednesday, April 15, 2009

le sigh

Holy man, the busy life never ends! I'm sitting her on my couch, at 8:09... barely keeping myself awake. I feel so out-of-control of my life. All that I do is work, coach, come home and play with a semi-grumpy baby (because her dad is HORRIBLE at making her take the dreaded afternoon nap), eat dinner, give said baby a bath, put her to bed, and then go to sleep.
And I repeat the above schedule 5 days a week. And it sucks.
I feel like I'm just a ghost in Ali's life. She is totally almost rolling over from her back to her tummy, and I can't even spend enough time encouraging her, and I know she's going to do it at daycare or in the afternoon and I'm going to miss it and be sad.
She's also getting her two bottom teeth in- any day we expect those puppies to pop their way through- finally! My problem is that I just don't' feel like I'm a true part of everything. Like I'm just a bystander who gets this little glimpse into my baby's life at home. It's so hard, I'm really struggling with it, and I struggle every day.
I also hate that my house has gone to crap. My husband will do small pick-up- like dishes and garbage- but he does not dust,vacuum, pick up toys, clean bathrooms, or mop. So the house is a complete disaster and IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS! (Remember, I am a self-diagnosed clean freak). So not only am I uncomfortable in my skin, I cannot stand to be in my dirty house... but I'm too dang tired to clean it!

I'm just really hanging on to get to the weekend- no games, no practice. Just time to spend with my sweet girl and her daddy... and CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

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