Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Family Visit

We had KK's dad and his wife come into town to visit us last night on their way to some camping up the river. His dad lives in Olympia, WA, which is about 7 hours away from us. Kris and his dad have not always had the best father-son relationship, but they are cultivating it now, and it was nice to see them and visit and have Kris feel loved by his dad.

It's hard for me to watch his family dynamics because I am so blessed with my own. I have two great parents who love my brother and I and who love each other - they've been married for 30 years! We had such a good childhood and growing up- my memories are filled with more good times then bad. I feel so grateful for my support system and blessed to have such a wonderful family to share with my husband: I hope we help to give him some stability in his uncertain family experiences.
KK's parents divorced when he was 8, his mom remarried when he was about 10 or 12, who she later divorced when Kris was 16...but I think the guy pretty much raised himself. His mother is not maternal at all- she never read to him or helped him with homework... she never told him she loved him or gave him any hugs. His dad moved to Olympia right after the divorce and was not a big factor in his life until adulthood.
I think his saving grace to normalcy was being so involved with basketball and having great coaches and teammates to support and "raise" him. Of course I am not going to judge his rearing or blast his family on my blog, but I will say it makes me that much more appreciative of the awesome mom, dad, and brother, and extended family that I have.
The good news is that Kris now has a chance to create a relationship and family with his own daughter- any way he wants it to be. He is already an amazing partner and friend, and he cares so much for our baby girl -wishing every day for her arrival- so he can be a daddy. I'm amazed at how "normal" he turned out considering how he grew up, and I can't wait for Alison to be born and get to meet this awesome man that helped me create her. We are so lucky to have him for everything he is- I hope he finally feels loved and knows how special he is!

2 comments:

Ann said...

I think that a lot of times, not growing up in the ideal situation helps people to become better parents. They strive to give their children what they never had.

Tara said...

I'm so glad you decided to try washing the diapers yourself. It's just an easy way to save more money. Since you have to store the diapers somewhere until they are washed (which ours are in an open-top rubbermaid tub in our laundry room) really the only thing it changes is that you will spend a few minutes tossing them in the washer and then either hanging or switching them to the dryer. I figure i can spend ten or fifteen minutes to save ten dollars or so. Plus it will give you more flexibility about types of diapers and covers to use. If you can stand smelling icky pee/poop for a few minutes you're fine ;)

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