Free Dog!

So today has been the day of all days.  To start, the mail isn't being delivered because of this hellacious snow storm (or should I say storms) and I'm waiting on a fun package to get here! 

Also,  KK and I drove over to my parents' house today to borrow their snow blower while they are vacationing in Cozumel (jerks) and on the way, some dude blew a stop sign perpendicular to the way we were traveling, causing Kris to swerve our truck to miss him, and landed us high centered from the left side in a giant snow bank (thank God it was there)!  I have never seen my husband so pissed off- I was so nervous he was going to kick the guys a$$ for doing that (he was lighting a cigarette and missed the sign, apparently).  Thankfully, we were all OK- but seriously, by husband was screaming terrible things at the guy, mostly about almost hurting our baby girl, that I have never heard him say before- and my husband is NOT a fighter by any means.  So anyway, KK made the guy dig us out, with the help of some nice young guys that drove by, and thankfully the truck was fine- we went to my parents' and came home.

But oohhhhhh nooooooooooooooooo, that's not where this story ends.  Background story: we have to lock our dog, Jack, in the spare bedroom upstairs when we go anywhere. Jack has a problem being contained, but when he is out in the house, he for some reason finds it necessary to lift his leg on the walls- something he never did before Ali was born.  We have tried to lock him in his kennel- he ripped the door off- leave him in the garage and he pees/poops everywhere- and the backyard is out because we aren't fenced in yet on all 4 sides.... so we've been locking him in the guest room.  

So we get home this afternoon and KK goes up to the let dogs out, and starts repeating "oh no, oh no" and I go upstairs to find that Jack has RIPPED UP about a 5 x5 foot radius of carpet from under the door jam back.  He has also broken the bottom of the door trying to dig out from underneath it.  There is also blood everywhere from him ripping one of his nails off trying to dig out.  

Seriously, I am not a violent person, but my elbow hurts from spanking that dog.  I have never been so mad in my life- I cannot believe he did that to our house.  And we are not rich people, so here comes an unexpected expense we have to save up for.  

KK thinks he will be able to just by a portion of carpet and pad and blend it back in to what we can salvage- and the door will just have to wait- but if we didn't love that dog so much he would be out in a field somewhere left for survival.  (I think we've figured out why his first owners left him to run free in a state park!)

So anyway, that is a little taste of the wonderful day we've had.  And to top it all off, my daughter has decided not to take her afternoon nap, so I'm off to rock the precious princess.  At least looking at her angel-face makes me take a deep breath and realize what really matters and be so thankful we are safe and sound!

I wanna win this!!!!

YOU could win a KEURING PLANTINUM BREWING SYSTEM and... $50 worth of K cups!!!  

I totally wanna to win this to bring to school and set up in my classroom!  Wouldn't that be awesome!? I could have a cup o' heaven while teaching all my little lovlies- it would make my teaching day so much more enjoyable!  

Whew! 1st Christmas down!

Well the Baby's first Christmas went over without a hitch.... she of course got way too many presents for a 4-month-old... my mom discovered the Leap Frog website, so at least we got some age-appropriate, "learning" toys :)

And my mother-in-law was actually very pleasant and thoughtful this year: she gave Ali her  baby ring from when she was little- I'm not much for sentiments- but it was a very sweet gesture and I think it meant a lot to pass it down to her.  

She also gave me some cute clothes- which I was totally surprised at... but she bought me size XL!!! I usually wear a medium to a large- NEVER an XL, not even when I was pregnant!  I asked Kris if she thinks I'm fat- and he said she probably has no idea- but I still took it a little personal... I also noticed that she wrote "love, mom" or love, grandma" on all of Kris and Ali's presents, but just wrote "linda" on mine.  Maybe I'm reading into it a little bit but I swear that woman wishes she was KK's wife and Ali's mom- I'm just a mindless diversion she has to deal with or something...BUT ANYWAY- (I'm working on letting things go with her, so I don't drive myself crazy..so I'll stop talking about it now)  

My parents bought KK and I a camcorder- which I am so excited about!  I've been taping Ali's cuteness on my camera- which only allows for 2 minutes of recording.  The camcorder is one that records to a photo chip card thingy, so it will be easy to edit and download to share with family and friends- I can't wait to use it! 

Oh yeah- and the best part of Christmas... KK did 3 loads of laundry, and folded them!  I couldn't believe it!!! Man, that guy knows how to turn me on :-)=

We also started the Ferber Method with Ali last night- and it actually went pretty well, and it made me feel so happy and liberated as a parent.  Every night it takes Ali about 15-20 minutes of crying and whining to fall asleep- with KK or I holding her and rocking her and walking around the house.  She drops her binkie about 5 bazillion times during the process, and both Kris and I were getting so sick of the routine.  So last night I researched how to lovingly let our child soothe herself to sleep.  I put her to bed at 7:50, went in at 4 minutes the first time and stroked her head. I then waited 6 minutes the 2nd time and went in again. The next time I waited until 10 minutes had passed, and that was the last time I had to go in and tell her I was there- she then fell asleep, in her crib, on her own, without KK or I soothing her!  When she was crying in there it never got intense, and every time I went in I checked her eyes for tear drops (whaddya know, not a one fell!).  I did the same thing when she woke up at 3 this morning- didn't pick her up, but put the binker back in her mouth and stroked her head... that time it only took two times of me going in!

 So I think our stubborn betty is figuring out how to put herself to sleep= I layed her down for a nap this morning and she fussed for a few seconds and went out!  I'm sooo happy and I hope she keeps it up tonight- it is so much easier for the whole family and it feels good to have a method KK and I can agree on and work together with.  I think we will all be improving our sleeping habits in a few shorts days- and teaching Ali the life long skill of soothing herself to sleep :)

4 month checkup

We took Bug a Boos to her 4 month well check today, here are her stats:

Height: 25 inches (75th percentile)

Weight: 15 lbs 13 oz (90th percentile!)

Head Circumference: 40 inches (50th percentile)

We were so happy to see her head grow so much (she was in the 14th percentile at 2 months)!  She is getting so big- and the doctor said she was happy about her height to weight ratio- our little chunk a monker!

She also did pretty good with her 2nd round of shots- of course we had a big ba-ba ready and waiting :)

The doctor also confirmed that I was making the right choice by putting Ali on rice cereal- she said "if the girl's hungry, feed her!" She said to wait until next month to start in some baby food- I can't wait to watch Ali try some new foods!  She also  suggested pear juice for the poor baby's constipation- so tomorrow morning I will hit the store first thing.  We can tell she is straining so hard to poopie- that must hurt her little bootie so bad!

Now we are just settlin in and relaxin:  tomorrow my parents and brother are coming over for chili and to open up some presents- and I plan to go to the 9:00 Christmas Eve service ( I can't wait!).  On Christmas we are supposed to go over to KK's grandparents, weather permitting... but I'm kind of hoping we get snowed in and can have a nice, relaxing Christmas as just US!

Hope everyone is all ready for the madness to begin- Ali has so many presents already from just my parents- that girl could be the most spoiled 4 month old child yet!

Christmas Presents!!

Look at the awesome Christmas present we got from KK's dad!

I'm so excited to hook it up to our bikes and use it! (with all this snow, it'll be awhile, but it's still awesome!!!!!!!)   It also converts to a jogger stroller, which while I won't probably be doing much actual joggin behind it, I'm sure it will be better to push around then the graco stroller we are using now!

My mom also let Ali (me) open one of her Christmas presents early, in light of all the snow:

It's the cutest little sled we've ever seen!  Ali is going to look so cute stuffed in her snowsuit riding around in it...Unfortunately it is 10 degrees today- so a little too cold to bring sweet baby girl outside- but you can bet your sweet butt we will have her in it and draggin her around as soon as the weather allows!

And the last fun present was sent by my bestest friend, Rose.  

Look it how cute Ali is with her new buddy!

Let in SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!

our back yard

You cannot believe the amount of snow we've gotten up here in North Idaho- it's amazing! My husband was walking around in our backyard (to create a path for our wussy dogs) and it was up to his waist- I swear!  It's the most snow I've seen in my lifetime- and I've lived here for my entire life.  

We spent 2 hours this morning on our driveway(like we'll drive anywhere).  And the weirdest thing happened- we let the dogs out the back door, and there was a little black duck hiding under our bbq.  We live about 6 miles from the nearest body of water, so it must have gotten lost in the blizzard.  Poor duckie, didn't have a chance with our 2 bird dogs :(  KK had to put it out of it's misery after Jack and Matty each took a turn retrieving it.... the cycle of life I guess! (I'm just thankful Missy Pants isn't old enough to know the difference- that coulda been ugly).

The news is saying we could get up to 14 more inches by 4:00 this afternoon.... so needless to say, no school today and hopefully not tomorrow- Christmas Break started early-whooo hoooo!   

I've got plenty to do around the house to keep me busy today.... hopefully the hubster doesn't go stir crazy! 

 the front porch

Silent Night

I saw this commercial  and thought is was so precious! Totally reminded me of my sweet baby angel- who I could watch sleep for hours! ....if she would only stay asleep that long;)

Sleeping is overrated

I kidd- I kidd! I really miss sleeping through the night... which I figure I have not done since I was oh.... 8 months pregnant. Add that to the time little Miss Princess has been alive, and we're talking at least 5 months of interrupted sleeping patterns. I know I shouldn't complain- she does only get up once a night to feed and we're only awake a total of around 30 minutes, but when you are a sleep hog like myself, it sucks!

I've tried everything to get this girl to snooze for 10 hours: adding rice cereal to her diet, feeding her later, putting her to bed later, waking her up to feed at 10pm, you name it, I've done it! No matter what, she will wake up at either 1:30 or 3:30 and be a hungry hippo!

Last night she slept with us because for some reason her bedroom is really cold at night. (This totally erks me in that we live in a brand new house- and her room and the guest room right next to it will not contain heat-grrr) And in order to keep our daughter from freezing to death in her sleep, KK and I decided that until the temperature is above -14 at night, she will be sleeping with us. Which is totally fine, I sleep like the dead and she doesn't take up much space in our king-size bed. But I thought for sure that having the comfort of her mom and pop would help her snooze her way to 5:30 am but nooooooo, she was up and hungry at 1:30! I even tried rocking her and walking around, but that girl was not going back to sleep without some nummie in her tummie!

And so I've basically resolved myself to the idea that I will never sleep through the night again- and that I will have ugly bags under my eyes for the rest of my adult life. And ugly bags mixed with bad hair does not make a good combo!

Brrr!

We finally got some snow up here in North Idaho... and along with it- some super freezing temperatures! Today the high was 13 degrees- tomorrow's is forecasted to be around 2 flippin degrees! C'mon now, 2 friggin degrees - is that even possible! I guess I should get used to it being as I have lived in this area almost my entire life- but seriously- it seeps into your bones and gets downright chilly burgers! I'll be sure to bundle myself, and the Missy Pants, up tight these next few days!



-And on another note, Miss Ali is eating her way through the rice cereal!

She is still trying to figure out the whole tongue with spoon deal, but she's getting the hang of it pretty good so far. Depending on how hungry she is when you catch her, she may be patient enough to get through most of the bowl, or she may take 2 spoonfuls and be done. It's hilarious- she gets soooo messy! She tries to eat her hands and the rice cereal at the same time, so needless to say, I really need to invest in some bigger bibs!
Feeding it to her has made a huge difference in her ravenous appetite- she now eats every 4 hours, and not on demand, which is a great relief from the screaming child we used to experience at 2 hour intervals! It makes living our buys life so much easier! We made it through a 5 hour shopping trip today without even a squawk! She also slept like a dream today while we were out and about... happy baby =happy parents= super fun family day.
KK and I went to Steve and Barry's today and got some great deals on work clothes! They are going out of business and almost everything is 40-70% off- amazing! I got 4 button down shirts (that I love to wear cause they hide the baby pooch), a cute black and grey striped sweater, and a pair of navy chords- plus KK got like 5 or 6 shirts and a pair of shorts for under $80! It was amazing, and a perfect shopping trip for us not-so-rich teachers.
I'm also looking forward to a fun week - it is the last week of school before Winter Break (whoo hoo!) plus I have a cookie exchange Wednesday with some dear friends of mine, then a fun ladies only Christmas party with the gals from work on Thursday. And Friday, my little bro and his girlfriend are watching Ali so I can go watch KK's teams' basketball game baby free! I'm looking forward to some fun adult time :)

PROM DRESSES NEEDED!

I am starting a Prom Dress Rental program at Lake City High School, where I teach. The idea is to rent dresses to girls for prom, homecoming, etc. who otherwise could not afford them- the rental price will be roughly the cost to dry clean, and many girls' rentals will be scholarshiped. What I am asking from you is to donate any old prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses, etc. that you have hanging in your closets and no longer need. If this is something you are interested in doing, please let me know and I will come by to pick up your donation! I would also gladly reimburse shipping :)

Please send dresses to-
Lake City High School
Attn: Kelli Knowles
6101 N. Ramsay Rd.
Coeur d Alene, ID 83815

Thank you so much ladies, you do not know how much this could change a young girl's life!

Love,
Kelli Knowles
(208)769-0769
P.S. Please forward as you see fit :)

Christmas Book!

I love to read books- and when I was little, some of my favorite memories are of being read to. One of my most favorite people from elementary school was our librarian, Mrs. Haas. She would pick the BEST stories to read to us, and she had the best reading voice. I will never forget how much I loved library time- she made it so special!
I have carried my love of reading/being read to in my own adventures of mothering. We read to our little bug as much as possible- and she seems already to enjoy it so much! I buy her books all the time... the most recent I bought was this one:


It is AMAZING! The book tells all about Santa, his sleigh, the North Pole, etc. It kind of breaks it down... it has examples of Christmas letters, a newspaper article with a Santa sighting, oh it is amazing! Please buy it for your kids- they will LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

Now, I am looking for a Christmas book that tells the true meaning of Christmas- Baby Jesus! Does anyone have a good Christian Christmas book to suggest??

Cause I'm Tough Like That

So let me just say I'm pretty much a bad ass (well, not really, but the high school kiddos think so right now!)

At school on Monday (remember, I teach high school) I was walking down the hall right after the bell for 2nd lunch went off. I was just coming back to my classroom after running some worksheets, when I saw all these kids standing around watching something. I thought maybe some kids where doing a dance-off or something like that- which happens oddly enough more then you think. When I got closer, however, I realized that two boys where fighting. They were rolling around on the floor, and not one single kid watching the whole thing jumped in the break it up ! (I know, I know- why am I shocked) So being the bad-ass/idiot teacher that I am, I grabbed the kid who was on top at the moment and pulled him off the other kid. Right as I grabbed him, he swung a punch right to the poor kid on bottom's face. That kid in turn tried to punch the kid I was holding back- but instead he landed a blow right on the back of my top right hand. Let me tell you, it hurt like the devil- but of course I was so tough that I just dragged both kids down to the office without even flinching. I had to fill out an incident report, even though I really just have some bruising- kind of like if you accidentally hit the top of your hand on a counter or something.
And the best part? I broke up the fight without even losing my worksheets! Yes, that's right, I'm so tough that it only took one hand to break it up (the guys were little, thank God).

So yeah, all in a day's work I guess! Whoo hoo! And my students? They think their English teacher is pretty freakin awesome- which- hey, can you blame 'um?

Big Girl !

Missy Pants is getting bigger and better by the minute. It seems that daily she becomes less of a little bundle of baby, and more of a little person with an oh-so-fun personality!

We started adding rice cereal to her bottle yesterday- the little gal always seemed to be starving to death and was only lasting 2.75 hours between feedings! I went to Bunco on Thursday, and this girl who lives behind me and has a little boy who is 2 weeks older then Ali told me to slip in some rice cereal. She said they had been doing it and really noticing the difference- so I tried it last night. You would not believe how satisfied our little chicketty has become! She will go 4 hours between feedings, and is sooo happy and full after her ba-bas! I love it! She took great naps all day today, and didn't even finish her 2nd bottle all the way- something she has NEVER done since being born! Yay for a full baby's tummy!

I'm anxious to see what tonight brings... I don't want to jinx it, but maybe my full baby will sleep her way through the night!?

We also brought up her exersaucer from the basement and put her in that to see what she thought; and let me tell you she is in love with her fun, new toy! There is so much for her to look at, plus she gets to feel like a big girl and stand up on those big, strong legs for a bit. She's only lasting in it for about 10 minutes- but it is 10 minutes of bliss to get things done and/or relax! She squeals and laughs, then her eyes get all big and serious when she accidentally shakes or turns something with her hands- I love it!

Tagged!

I was tagged by my favorite blogging buddy sweetassbabs for this fun post!
Here's what you do:
Take a snippet from the closest book sitting near you ... page 56, the 5th sentence:

The book I grabbed off our bookshelf that I thought would add an interesting post to read was Extraordinary Uses *for ordinary things... my oh-so-practical grandmother gave it to me as a bridal shower gift- hilarious!

Ok- pg. 56, 5th sentence- use aspirin to take out perspiration stains! Here's how: crush 2 aspirin in 1/2 cup warm water and soak stain for 2-3 hours.....
Wonder if that really works?!

I tag everyone who wants to join in the silliness!

Nap Time

I'm trying to figure out how to make my daughter take an afternoon nap. Right now, during the week anyway, she sleeps at daycare from around 10-1:00- not sure how consistent that is but I'm saying that is the average. We currently do not put her down for an afternoon nap, and she goes to bed around 6:30-7:00. I'm wondering if I give her an afternoon nap, would that extend the time she is awake in the evening so I could put her to bed about 7:30 or 8:00? I'm trying to get the sweetie to sleep through the night and I'm thinking if I put her down later she might sleep longer. I tried laying her down this afternoon at 4:20, it is now 4:40, and I am just about ready to go up and get her because she is screaming from her crib :-(
She has never really taken an afternoon nap, mostly because we have had her in daycare since she was 2 months old- so a schedule was not really formed up until that point... I'm also not too sure how she sleeps at daycare from 10-1, because on the weekends she cat naps throughout the day- totally different story.... weird. Maybe I should sit down and really figure it out with my daycare provider tomorrow... but I need to make sure I'm being a good mommy and giving my gal enough sleep for her growing body!

Someone Loves Me!!!

Sweetassbabs gave me this swwwwweeeeeetttttt award!

Thanks so much deary! I love reading your blog, and having you as my blogging buddy! Muah!

So Here's the rules: I get to seven other blogs that I love reading. If your blog makes my list, you get to post your award, thank the person who gave it to you (that's me!) and then choose seven other blogs that you feel deserve this awesome award.

Here's the blogs I love (well 7 of 'um anyway)!

1. Andrea

2. Alexa

3. Liz

4. Lindsay

5. Nanette

6. Kim

7. HM

Seriously, I could not be a good momma without you gals!

The Diagnosis

After an oh so tiring day of holding Missy Pants (she would scream bloody murder every time I even thought about setting her down) the doctor squeezed us in. Well, not her real doctor, but the nurse practitioner, who was super nice and I really liked- anyway- she diagnosed A with something called gastrititus. She prescribed Prevacid and said that what probably is happening is that Missy Pants' tummy virus from 2 weeks ago probably caused some reflux that is taking awhile to work itself out. She said it would probably go away within 1 week to 10 days, but to elevate her bed and really burp her good after she eats- no laying flat or anything like that immediately after eating. I really hope that the medicine kicks into her system and that she will be a happier baby come tomorrow... today kicked momma's butt! It's 6:36 as I write this and I'm ready to fall into bed!

** Thank you so much to all the advice and well wishes- I need you gals on my speed dial !

Tummy Troubles

I'm home this morning with a very upset baby girl. Ever since she was real sick 2 weeks ago (vomiting sick) she has not really bounced back. Every time we feed Missy Pants she acts upset and kind of arches her back after she has finished her bottle and we go to burp her. She has been real irritable and not napping well. She was spitting up more then normal on Saturday, not a huge amount, but frequently and it stunk worse then normal spit up. Last night, KK got up to feed her around 2am. She ate, then went back to bed, and about 15 minutes later, started fussing. He got up to try to calm her, and she just would not calm down. I got up to try and rock her, which I did for about 3 minutes, and then she started screaming. Like something I have never heard before, really upset, something hurts baby. KK and I started to go through what could be wrong: she had not pooped yesterday (still has not pooped) and so I put her in the airplane hold and patted her tummy, which helped a lot. I had to hold her like that through the rest of the night, so I have had no sleep since 2. This morning before he went to work, KK went and bought soy-based formula and prune juice at the store. I'm wondering if she is developing a dislike or allergy of some kind to her formula? Since I stopped breastfeeding, she has been using Costco brand. Could her body be reacting poorly to it? What can I do?? I'm waiting until 8:30 to call our pediatrician's office to talk to a nurse- but I want some mommy advice too!

Out of bad news comes progress

My hubster is in Wenatchee today with the basketball team he coaches, so The Missy Pants and I have just been buddying around mommy-daughter style. We went and got groceries this morning, and Missy decided she was too big for her car seat- so I spent the whole trip holding her and steering the cart, it was real fun. And to top it all off... she peed right through her diaper- so there I was holding an increasingly heavy baby with wet pants, while trying to get all the stuff we need and not forget anything! I'm definitely bringing daddy with me next time :)

Other than that, the day has been pretty low key. I think Missy Pants might have a little tummy trouble- every time she has eaten today she has arched her back in pain and then vomited a little bit. I gave her some gripe water and it did seem to help, but poo baby just wants to be held all day and have her tummy rubbed :( needless to say, I postponed holiday decorating until tomorrow with daddy is home to help!

KK did call me from the road with some sad news- a really good friend of his- who was the assistant coach for his basketball team in high school- was diagnosed with lung cancer today. He is in his 60s and has been a smoker for most his life. As a child of two smokers (my mom is a closet smoker) I really took this to heart. I have wanted to talk to my mom for forever about this- but it is so hard to bring up. I bit the bullet tonight and emailed both her and my dad. I told them that I don't want Alison to grow up without her grandparents- and that we need them in our lives! I also found a bunch of websites that offer support to quit smoking. I was totally nervous as to how my mom would react- it has been kind of a "don't ask, don't tell" around our family to not bring up her habit.
Well I just checked my email, and my mom had responded. She said she was ashamed for her habit and was thankful I finally brought it up. She promised she would quit, and she sounded really heartfelt. We probably won't ever talk about it, but I really hope that this will be the changing point for her, and my dad. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to have to face the world without my two greatest role models and supports. I fell hopeful and happy- I'll keep you posted!

Ok- my baby started to cry again... maybe a bath will help soothe the poor sweet angel?

Thanksgiving success!

Missy Pants's 1st Thanksgiving went over fabulously! We hosted- which let me tell you was way more tiring with a 3-month old... but still was fun. Taking care of Missy Pants, along with cleaning my house (remember, no cookin' for me, thank goodness-my hubby is amazing!) and getting the table set, etc. made for one tired momma and baby! Missy must have know something was up, because she hardly napped all morning, so she was a cranky crankster when our guests arrived! Thankfully, a bottle saved the day, and she was happy enough to play in her chair and let us devour a wonderful meal! It was so nice to have my Grandma over, along with my parents, one of my uncles, and my little bro and his girlfriend- who by the way is great! My brother seems to be smitten by her, and she is totally cool and easy to get along with- so I'm givin the thumbs up and I hope wedding bells come (but not for like a year at least).

After all was said and done, we had a great time- the guests were gone by 5:30; momma and Missy Pants were asleep on the couch by 7:00!!! And Missy slept all the way until 3:30!!!!!! That is her longest stretch yet- I'm hoping we are on the way to a 10 hour night soon! Who knows with our little oinker- she just cannot get enough of those ba-bas lately :)

And today was such a nice, relaxing day. We got up at our usual 6:30- so early for a holiday weekend- but not so bad when you go to bed at 7:00 hehe... then we bummed around the house for most of the morning- I cleaned up what was left to do (which was not much-thanks mom and gramma!). And then I put up our Christmas lights outside!!

Usually I am not so excited to get into the holidays, but with our little girl around this year, it is so much more fun and meaningful! She is getting to where she can see everything too, she was really into the neighbors lights through her window when she was falling asleep tonight...

My mom also gave me two pre-lit fake trees she didn't want anymore, so I added those outside on the porch. I still have some lights to hang from the windows upstairs, as well as my wreaths; but the outside is almost complete!

KK goes to Wenatchee tomorrow with the basketball team, so I think I will take the opportunity to finish decorating inside.I might also put Missy in this cute Christmas sleep n play I bought her and take some pics for the calendars I'm making for the grandparents...super cheap and easy Christmas present that they will totally love.

To end the night of holiday bliss... it's snowing!!!!!!!!!!!

Gobble Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving To You and Yours! Remember to count your blessings... you will always find you have much for which to be grateful !

XOXOXOXO

~ Kelli

Random Crap and Stuff

I feel like this week is already flying by! I CANNOT BELIEVE that it is already going to be Thanksgiving on Thursday! Thursday also happens to be KK's birthday, so getting ready for two holidays, as well as getting all my grades due at school for 12 week progress reports, has made for a busy couple of days! Yesterday my mom and I went to Cabela's and split a pair of hunting boots for Kris. I really hope he likes them, and I am so excited to give them to him... his current pair are so stinky that I make him store them in the garage, on the side furthest from the door :)
We are also hosting Thanksgiving- we decided since having Ali that we will host every holiday- that way we don't have to worry about splitting time between our two families and hopefully miss all that hassle all together.
We hosted Thanksgiving last year- KK loves to cook so we really don't mind it at all. Although we do have to clean our house and get everything ready, I still really love being home and not having to worry about getting somewhere else.
This year we are having my grandma, my uncle, my parents, my little brother, and his new girlfriend. I'm really excited, because I have not met her yet (only spied on myspace), and my brother is totally head-over -heels for her. I'm sooo happy for him and she seems really sweet and cute, it's going to be so fun! This is the first time he has had a serious girlfriend since high school, so it's really neat for me to hear him talk about her and how cute he is about the whole thing.
I'm also excited because my crazy MIL will not be attending. That woman came over to the house on Sunday and proceeded to criticize me on her opinion that I was apparently dressing my daughter in a too small outfit. According to her, Missy Pants's toes were just too scrunched, and I should change her right away. She also "spoke" for Missy Pants, and told me that Ali preferred to sit up, not lay down like I had her, and that she wanted me to put her down to play instead of play with her myself. What I felt like saying was: thanks, Mother of the Year, for helping me know what is best for my daughter... since you did such an excellent job with your own son- oh wait- you were drunk for the majority of his life.... but instead I just sat there and bit my tongue.
I did not, however, bite my tongue when she put her pissy pants on when we mentioned our holiday plans. She was not happy about us spending Christmas at home. I told her the plan when KK was outside, and when he came back in, she proceeded to ask him what his thoughts where on spending Christmas at our house, instead of with his family- after I had just told her what we decided!! It made me so mad that she tried to undermine me like that- she is such a queen bizzo sometimes, I get so mad!! I've decided I am not going to appease her anymore- I don't care if she hates me- in fact, I welcome it. That woman needs to know her place. KK is my husband, not her little pawn- and our family is not for her to control. Oh she boils my blood- that woman!


And on a completely different note.... Missy Pants is now eating 7 oz of formula every 3-3.5 hours! I used to freak out about over feeding her- but seriously- she was sooo hungry when she was only eating 6 oz that she would scream after finishing her bottle and would be starving only 2.5 hours later. I'm hoping we are on the right track- poor baby cried for 1 hour straight last night until her mean momma finally fed her! I'm just gonna feed the oinky baby- she is so much happier with a full tummy!

Whoo Hoo for New Technology!

We got a new laptop today!! We have been talking about updating the Dell laptop my dad gave me about 4 years ago for a couple of months now... it was so full of documents and random files, plus dumb programs that pretty much eat up space...and today we went to Walmart and bought a new Toshiba! It's really nice and so much faster then the Dell- I'm so excited! My husband is sooo lucky that he will have this fancy schmancy machine to finish his master's degree on- our old comp was full to the brim with my documents, plus millions of media files (wonder who could be in those?)... so it's really nice to have an upgrade! Now I don't have to do all my internet work (i.e. shopping, facebook and blogging) when I am at work! I can actually surf the web at home in normal-time! I'm so excited!

Also, our little Miss -3- month- old is just coming to life! She can hold her head up on her own now, we put her in the bumbo for the first time yesterday and she loved it! She was looking at her feet like "hey, what are those things?" It was hilarious.
It is amazing how much she is changing and growing into her little personality... it's beginning to feel like she is reciprocating our love for her and it is so fun to interact with her!
Her favorite thing to do lately is look into the mirror at herself and mommy and daddy- she's pretty much obsessed with her reflection :) She also laughs and talks to us all day long- we're not sure at this point if we will ever be able to shut her up again!
We took her to her first (of many, many) basketball games last night at the high school. She totally loved looking around at everything (daddy was pissed because she was watching the cheerleaders more than the players, but I chalked it up to the shiny pon-poms... we hope!). She didn't even freak out at loud noises, like when the buzzer sounded or the band played- and she fell asleep about 45 mins into the game and didn't wake up once! We're glad she likes it in the gym- it will soon become her second home- daddy's season starts next week!
I just can't put into words how much I love, and how thankful I am, for our sweet little girl. She is such a blessing, and I love her more and more every single day. I'm trying to squeeze in as much time with her now... I'm waiting for the day when she tells me to quit giving her kisses all the time! Until then, she's subject to my infinite cuddling!

Hang up the Phone!

Screw Vonage. That is all I have to say about that company. In September, KK and I looked into having a home phone line installed just in case someone was at the house watching Missy Pants and didn't have a cell phone or something... so we wanted it for safety issues.
Well I researched it online and found the Vonage offered the best deal. So I signed up, got a local number, and we where all good.... WRONG!!!!!! The stupid number the damn lady gave me was NOT local at all- so people who would try to call us would have to dial long distance, even if they were calling locally. So, about 3 weeks ago, I called Vonage and said we want to cancel. Well this dumb lady told me that they would have local service in our area within the month, and to call back then and she would reassign me a number. So I called today, and NOPE, they did not have our area covered still. So I said, OK< class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">freakin dollars!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so pissed- I went round and round with them- then finally got sick of wasting time on the phone, and hung up. So now I'm out almost $100 for a damn line I NEVER EVEN USED.
My blood is freaking boiling!

To all the Beautiful, Invisible Moms Out There...

Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!
Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.
We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

I survived!

My weekend with the father-in-law has passed, and I could not be happier to finally have MY family back to a somewhat state of normalcy. All in all, the visit was good and as expected. KK's relationship with his father is an interesting one as his father left when Kris was 8 and has not really made an effort until about 5 years ago to keep a regular part of his life. It is so strange for me because my family is so close and it was downright painful at times to struggle through conversations with a man we really don't know that well on a daily basis.
...Not to mention KK's dad is a hippie of types that believes in many conspiracy theories, which is just weird in itself... but he did really good with Missy Pants and was happy to be spending time with us- so it was good, but I'm hoping with all hope that it does not have to reoccur again within the next year (or ever- hehe).

The bright side of my weekend was that I did attend a neighborhood Bunco night-the first of monthly meetings among the ladies of my neighborhood. I live in a relatively new phase of my sub division, so all of us ladies have moved in around the same time. It was really nice to make those connections and have other mothers that I can depend on if I need a quick babysitter or to borrow a cup of sugar. I'm really looking forward to getting to know them better and having a fun place to live and for my daughter to grow up in.

Other than that, life around our house is settling back into a routine. KK started coaching basketball last week, so Missy Pants and are have afternoons together, which is kind of fun and relaxing. She is changing so much almost on a daily basis- it is amazing to see her personality come out!
I also put my foot down as far as KK's mother is concerned and told him it was appropriate to let her know that we are busy people and that weekends would work best for her oh-so-fun visits over to the house. Hopefully he follows through on this or he will have a not-so-happy wife to live with... and I can be downright nasty if I want to!

Thank you so much to all of you who left me kind messages of support to get me through the last couple of weeks! I love my bloggie buddies sooo much ! xoxoxoxo

Ali @ 12 weeks

My little gal is figuring out how to smile!

It gets worse

Kris's dad made it here last night... and announced he is not heading back home until MONDAY morning. That means our entire weekend will be devoted to entertaining our guest. That also means no time to just relax and reconnect with my family. You do not know how much I was looking forward to having Sunday afternoon to just be us.
I know Kris has a weird relationship with his dad and they are not close enough to really talk and be comfortable around each other, but I wish he could just ask him to leave on Sunday instead!

I really feel depressed. I have so much that I want to talk to my husband about, and there is virtually no alone time with his dad around. We have not had a moment's time alone- he got home Wednesday and was so rushed in trying to get his school stuff done and get settled back in before his dad's arrival that we ended up asleep at 7:45 without barely getting a chance to speak.
And I'm sure his crazy mom will have to be over at our house the second his dad leaves.. plus Kris is now in basketball season and will be at practices and then games until March... it's ridiculous.


OH and did I mention I have a terrible cold and my sinuses are so congested ? I can feel it in my gums (seriously) and I'm achy all over. I think Ali is getting sick again too- she woke up from last night's sleep throwing up- fabulous. All that I want to do when I get home is sleep.. not going to happen because the man has no experience with babies besides Kris and is not comfortable with Ali alone...

It's just so hard because Kris's dad really is a nice guy,and this is the only time he has ever seen Ali- but he has not concept of the fact that our family has not been OUR family in over a week. Did I mention that he invited someof his friends over to our house on Saturday? Yeah- so we get to entertain more people that we hardly know! It keeps getting better and better.
I really do not know how I'm going to make it through with a positive attitude. I know that in the whole scheme of things it will not be a big deal...
But I still feel like at any moment I could just crumble.
And my ignorant husband has no clue.

Why me?

So the weekend went pretty good considering my husband it out of town and I'm doing everything on my own. Taking care of Ali is the easy part. Trying to get everything ready for Kris's dad to come on Thursday has been a bit annoying.
Here is what's annoying: Kris is home Wednesday, his dad comes to visit Thursday, and will be here until Sunday. Kris starts coaching basketball Friday, so he won't even be home until 6 that night, and then he will be gone again Saturday morning until noon. So I get to entertain his dad, by myself, for a rough total of 9 hours. Not to mention this will be the 2nd weekend in a row that Kris and I don't really get to hang together.
Also, Kris has a crazy mother. Seriously, she is not normal by any stretch of the imagination. She lives here in town, and her story would take me an entire book to write, and I just don't have that kind of time and energy- so you get the short version. His mother used to be an alchoholic, until this summer when she had a crazy meltdown and we had to do an intervention. The woman has never been normal since I met her- she is a terrible house keeper and does not take care of herself: she doesn't even comb the back of her hair! She is 62 years old and looks and acts 80, it's amazing. I also harbor a lot of anger toward her because she was a horrible parent to my husband. He barely talks about his childhood, but from what I do know she never spent time with him or cared what he was doing.. just wanted him to get out of the house so she could drink or do whatever it was she did.
P.S. She's totally high maintainance.
So anyway, she stopped drinking over the summer, (which was fun to deal with when I was 8 months pregnant, by the way) and is now sober and more annoying then ever. She finds it necessary to come over to our house once a week to "see the baby." By "see the baby" I mean sit on our couch for 20 minutes without holding Missy Pants and then leaving the minute Missy starts to fuss or cry. She always comes at the worse time, usually right before dinner, and totally interrupts my day. She has nothing to talk about because she does nothing with herself all day.. and I don't feel sorry for her because she is totally capable. It is such an interruption to what I'm trying to do- between working and trying to wind down and get the Missy Pants all settled in the evening, the last thing I want to worry about is having her come over! I've talked to my husband about it a million times, but he thinks it is a good thing that she is getting out and being social. ArGhhhh!!! It's making me crazy!
So she calls me today and wants to see if Missy Pants and I are handling everything alright since Kris is gone- yeah, like she has any idea... and I tell her how stressed I am about getting the house cleaned and all my extra work done from school before Kris's dad comes and she says- oh OK, well I'll stop by tomorrow sometime to see the baby. What!? Are you kidding me!? Did she really just TELL me she was going to ruin my day tomorrow and come over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so annoyed! And I want to kill my husband even more now!
I don't even know how to handle it or what to say to him- it is excessive that she comes over once a week. And there is no purpose to it except maybe in her demented mind makes her feel wanted or useful and probably gives her something to do to get out of the house. But really, how long will this go on? I'm sure I could handle her a lot more if she would just give us space! Ahhhhhhh, I think I'm going crazy!

Just Us Girls

The hubster went outta town this morning until Wednesday... to a hunting trip in South Dakota (that was the subject of a huge fight, considering our current financial situation- which is all I'm going to say about that for now).

SO anywayz... Missy Pants and Mommy are on their own for the next 5 days! Usually I am happy for KK to get outta the house for awhile- it gives me a chance to regroup and get stuff done without someone bothering me... but this time- this 1st time he's left me since our girl was born- I had a really hard time.
I really need him: I need his help with the baby, and I need his support. Now that we have another little being depending on us to care for her 24/7, I could not imagine doing it on my own.
I guess I learned this morning that even though my hubs annoys the crap out of me most of the time, I still really depend on him and am so thankful that he is in my life.
He really is a good guy- a good partner, friend, and daddy.
We're working on becoming smarter spenders as a family- this trip he is on really opened his eyes as to how much our(his) lives have changed since having our baby, and I think that we are going to see an upswing in how and where we (him) spends our money.
So back to just me and Ali for 5 days- I'm planning to clean this house, relax a lot, cuddle cuddle cuddle with my little lovie bug, and also hang out with my momma and poppa :) Grammie is coming over to spend the night with us on Sunday night so she can watch our Missy Pants on Monday- and Granpa is coming over to hang with us for a bit today! I'm excited because I want to get some pics of the G-paws holding Missy Pants- I'm going to make a calender for them "12 Months of Ali" for Christmas!
Ok- we're off to bath time! Have a good weekend everybody!

Rock the Vote

I voted yesterday and was VERY happy to see the outcome of the election. I went to bed feeling hopeful for the America that my daughter will be raised in- something I have not felt in recent years. One thing is for sure, it will be a lot different then the White America I was raised in!

As a public educator, I am also anxious to see how and what sanctions change in the education realm and what the impact will be: I have yet to "work" for a Democratic President.. and I am hopeful that my job will become less about test scores and more about helping children grow as individuals as well as get a good education.

I am not a very political person and avoid social debates at all cost.. it just isn't that conducive to me to have to defend my position or get all fired up over politics, and I am respectful and so thankful that we live in a country that allows people to hold their own beliefs and viewpoints. My desire for the coming years is to see a better economy and country... one that I can be proud to call my home.

Happy Halloween

Since Missy Pants is so little we decided not to dress her up in a costume this year.. and put in her some cute clothes instead!

Daddy had to be at the football game at the high school, so instead of trying to hand out candy by myself (along with a 2 month old and 2 overly-friendly dogs), I went over to my mom and dad's to relax and hang out. We had garlic-chicken pizza and ate all the Halloween candy she had bought (they only got 2 trick-or-treaters the whole night!). I then snuck home around 8:00 and ba-hum-bugged it upstairs in my bedroom with all the lights turned off... hey, I really wanted to get some sleep and there were 5 gillion kids running around my neighborhood- that's a lot of candy!

Even though Missy Pants has been letting us sleep a good 8 hours the past 3 days, I still find myself just drained when I get home from work. Last night I finally felt like I caught up on my sleep, and today I feel so much more positive and refreshed: it really is amazing what a good night's sleep can do for you!
It is also an amazing start to your day when you wake up to your daughter cooing in her bed, and she flashes you a gigantic smile when you say good morning :)

Not to Brag...

...But my little gal slept through the night for the 2ND TIME IN A ROW last night!!! Yep- you can say it out loud- she is amazing!

Relaxation? Is that even a word??

We need prayers for our Missy Pants, people! KK took her to her echo ultrasound on Monday and the tech found a small hole in her heart. At this point we are still waiting to hear back from our pediatrician as to just how severe it is and if anything must be done at this point. Our hope is that the hole will heal itself and we will not have to worry. I am trying not to stress when I do not have anything concrete to worry me... but it's hard when your sweet baby does not have a perfect heart... she is sleeping in my arms at night now so I assure she stays safe throughout the night.

I am still so busy and behind with my work at school and home- I have about 100 student packets waiting for me to grade... it never ends! I cannot get ahead... I long for the weekend to get things done...and I seriously hope I can get SOMETHING done: there is a sh*t load of laundry stacking up, dirty bathrooms, dishes that must be put away so we have spoons to eat off of... the list goes on and on. In fact, I didn't even have time last night to give Missy Pants a bath, so she got the old wet washcloth once-over this morning!!
What I really want to do is just lay on the couch all day and catch up on my TIVO... doubt that'l happen anytime soon! I foresee my spare moments being filled with chores and random busy-ness.
I just want to feel in control of my life again, like I am ahead on something. I am a hard worker and like things to be organized and in place. Is this what parenthood is like? Full of stolen minutes and a momma running around like her hair is always on fire??
At least I have the stinkin cutest baby of all times-

Whirlwind

Holy Crap! Now that I am back to work, I feel like my life is moving in fast forward... the days just fly by Crazy!

My first week back to work went really well. My students were happy to have me back, and I am enjoying getting to know them. It is so nice to have a routine and professional purpose: being away from work made me realize that I need that stability in my life. I also realized how much I love my job and being around young people.
And like Alexa told me, working makes me a better mom to my Missy Pants.
I really value every moment we have together, as well as the time we spend as a family.
We had a great weekend: on Saturday morning,KK and I took the Missy Pants to Wal*Mart (fun times) to get FOOD! and a really cute outfit for her to wear to daycare on Halloween. We also went out to Cabela's so hubs could by some stuff for his upcoming hunting trip to South Dakota. We then went home and watched footbal- our college team, U of Idaho, broke a 17 game losing streak, thank the Lord! and just bummed around. We finished the night with an excellent dinner (KK cooked some pheasant he had gotten the weekend before).
It was so nice to just be with him and our baby... I'm really learning how much I value my husband and our life together.
On Sunday KK went hunting, and I took Ali over to my parents for some fall pictures in the leaves. They turned out super-cute, minus the fact that Missy Pants was more into eating her hands then smiling at Momma and Grammie, but what can ya do? (I'll post them soon, if I have the time!?) We finished Sunday evening with a great chili dinner at my parents (KK came over after hunting) and then went home to wind down and get ready for the week.
...And here I sit on Monday morning trying to clear the fuzz from my brain (lack of sleep = drowsy teacher) and finding myself in disbelief that the first week went SOOO FAST! It's like I never have enough time to organize my house, catch up on my reading, get the laundry done, kiss my baby, or bathe for that matter!
Wow, life sure has changed... for the better :)

We made it!

Well, the first day of work/child care went over without a hitch, but with a good amount of tears (both mine and baby's). I cried off and on yesterday thinking about how much I would miss being without my sweet girl. I cried this morning while holding her before putting her in the car seat. However, I did sooo good dropping her off and waited until I got in the car, called my mom, and cried on the way to work. I was fine at work until my hubby came down to my classroom to check on me, and got teary again. I cried when I came home and picked her back up and gave her some snuggles.. and I am getting teary as I write this, thinking about taking her again tomorrow.
But really. It was hard, but not terrible or horrible. I can do it again, I will do it again, and I will be a better mom because I am giving my Missy Pants her space. I am also getting my own contributing adult time, and I realized how much I really missed and enjoy my job. As bittersweet as it is to be away from your child, it is totally worth it.

So on top of having her first day at child care, we also took Missy Pants for her first round of shots and her 2 month well check. The good news is she is average for height and weight, and that nothing is wrong with her :)We do have to take her next week for an echo ultrasound, as she has a small heart murmor. (Apparently it is something she will grow out of, but we must take procautions).
The best news- her doctor thinks the reason she is so cranky is because the little chunky monkey is hungry! So we upped her formula to 5 oz every 3 hours, and we'll see how it goes. So far tonight it was wonderful-- she was brave through her shots and only cried for a couple minutes. After we got home she got some yummy grape baby Tylenol, a big bottle, a bath, and went peacefully to sleep! I'm hoping more food will do the trick (she is so her mother's daughter)and Grumplestilskins will settle down.
AND... the hubby started getting up at night to feed her! We started on Friday night and are now switching every-other-night! I could not be happier about that!
And with tonight being my night, I am headed up to bed!

P.S. I'm giving a SHOUT OUT to Hot Mamma over at Oh the Pressures for giving me a sweet bloggy award! I will hand out my own later this week!

Cranky Crankster

As I write this post at approximately 5:07pm, Missy Pants is peacefully sleeping in her little cow chair. KK and I eat our dinner around 6PM. Missy Pants conveniently chooses to wake up at this time and scream her head off, unless she is held. Lately I have been noticing that she cries a lot when we set her down during the day, and this worries me because I don't want to have the kind of daughter who has to be held at all times. I'm especially worried about when I am back at work next week and need to use at least some of my time in the afternoon to get things done around the house, which I prefer to do without a screaming child in the background.
I stress out all the time about having a child that is not independent and cannot self-sooth. Missy Pants does well in her bassinet at night time- she falls asleep by herself and stays there until I get her up in the morning- it is just during the day time that she puts on her cranky pants. She mostly takes cat naps during the day, and is so cranky from around 4pm to 7pm, on and off. Please, mommies out there, tell me this is normal for a 2 month old! When will she get a routine?? Am I ruining her for life by picking her up every time she cries?? :-/
Oh the joys and scares of being a new momma! I would continue, but someone in the household has decided to exercise her lungs!

My Last Week

Today begins the last week of me being home with my Missy Pants. It's bittersweet really: I'm looking forward to having a schedule and getting out of the house every day, but I'm so sad that another lucky person will get to spend their day with my sweet baby girl! I'm so thankful that the person watching Ali is a good friend of mine, so at least she won't be at a daycare where she is 1 of 10... but it's still hard! I don't want to stay at home anymore, but I don't want to be away from her! Why can't I just teach with her strapped in the front-back, geez!!! :-)
I find myself worrying that she will replace me with the daycare provider, and that she is growing and changing so much I will miss something spectacular and never forgive myself. I know that children go to daycare every day- Hell, I went to daycare and still think my mom is the bestest... and now I'm going to stop freaking out.
The beauty is that after I go back, there is only three weeks until we get a day off for Veteran's Day, then comes Thanksgiving followed by Christmas Break, so I won't have too long of stretches between when we can be together again.
It will be fine once I get back into the swing of things, it's just hard to think about right now :(

Weekend Update

Well KK and I had it out this morning. I finally put all my feelings on the table, we went round and round, he got mad and left, I took Ali to my parents, he came home and called me, I came back home, and we figured it out. Thankfully my husband listens to me, and really hears what I am saying, and tries his manly best to work harder.
Our Bottom line: we are partners and we need to work together in this family, not against each other. I think he gets it, and I think it is going to get easier for me... but time will tell.

And I'm finally posting my new hair picture... the color is new, the cut is me trying to grow my hair back out, so I'm not a big fan at this point, but you gotta make sacrifices to get to where you're going!

*sigh*

I don't know what's up with me lately: it's like I'm in a funk that I can't shake. I really feel that, although my husband is a great father, he is lacking in the husband and supportive companion departments. Don't get me wrong, KK is great and I'm still totally in love with him- I just feel like he forgets about me sometimes. He forgets that I am with Missy Pants every day, all day, and that sometimes I need him to hold her when she cries. He forgets that taking care of her is a full-time job, and that taking care of a newborn is not easy: it is downright exhausting, draining, and HARD. He never says thank you for doing his laundry, cleaning the dishes, mopping the floor, paying the bills, or cleaning up after him, and our daughter, all day long. He has not once offered to get up with Missy Pants during the night to feed her- not even once.
My back hurts so bad I can hardly stand it, we have no money for me to go see anyone for 2 more weeks, and he has never offered to rub it, not even when he sees me struggling to do it myself.
I just want him to say that he appreciates me. Just one thank you. I just want to figure out a way to tell him I need a little help. I'm overwhelmed. I'm tired. I need a break.

Love v. Hate

I felt compelled to make a list of loves/hates that I'm feeling at the current moment so here goes:

Love: That my baby and I are starting to interact so much and have bonding time
Hate: That at this time in 2 weeks, I will be in my 2nd day back at work and my sweet girl will be spending the day with someone other than me

Love: That being a teacher allows my husband and I to be home in the afternoons so being away from baby won't be so bad
Hate: That the teacher's salary sucks: we have $40.56 in our bank account as of today, and we don't get paid until Oct. 25th (also hate we only get paid once a month)

Love: That I got a massage yesterday and had a gift certificate so it was free
Hate: That the dude that gave me the massage did not focus on my back like I asked, and I still have this burning pain underneath my left shoulder-blade

Love: That I baked cookies today
Hate: We only had whole-wheat flour so they taste kinda funky

Love: Having a long-term substitute that likes her job and is teaching my lesson plans
Hate: That my substitute is so old she can't use a friggin computer, and I am using my maternity leave grading papers and entering them into the grade book

Love: That I have lost almost all my maternity weight and can wear my old clothes
Hate: That I now have an even more flabbier belly then before, and it is now too cold to take the baby for a walk so exercise might be outta the question

Love: My new hair color!
Hate: I never have time to straighten it, so it is being wasted in a fussy bun

I could go on and on really... but who likes a downer?

Baby Urpies

Every night for the past 3 weeks, my little girl has urped in her bed during the night. I can't figure it out for the life of me! Every morning when I pick her sweet bootie outta the bassinet, I find a little puddle of dried formula right next to her little cheek and in her sweet hair ( appetizing, isn't it?)
I've even tried to feed her less then her normal 4 oz during the night... this morning I heard her pukie, it was almost 2 hours after being fed! She doesn't do this during the day- in fact she hardly urps at all... except during the night! I've tried burping her extra good- she always gives me three good burps at least. I've also tried holding her longer to give her food time to settle... any suggestions out there? Or should I just call the doc???

Poo baby :(

We survived!

Our first night out without our little gal was not a success. Don't get me wrong, we had fun and Ali was safe and sound at Gram and Gramps' place... However, my husband, on the other hand, was a sh*t show.
To start the night out, we went to a local bar with our friends who also coach/teach at the same high school as us and have a 1 year old boy. We all ordered scooners- which are these huge glasses that probably hold 3 beers (needless to say, we were collectively buzzed- we all get out so much).
We then headed to the auction (put on by the booster clubs at the high school where we work, as well as the high school across town, to raise money for all the clubs and sports programs) and proceeded to bid on crap that none of us really wanted or needed, or had extra money to buy. Thankfully we won did not win anything :)

Dinner was served about an hour into it, this is where the night started to take turn for the worse, and my husband missed out! He was over at the gas station across the street getting cash out... to buy more drinks of course. So here he is drinking it up on an empty stomach- not a good plan for a guy who does drink 1 or 2 beers a night, but has not been "out" in a good 10 months. After the rest of us finished eating we decided to get outta the auction- mostly because we were getting tipsy and didn't want to make gigantic asses of ourselves in front of our colleagues. And, who are we kidding, the place was not happenin'.
So we headed downtown and went to the Eagles- of which my hubs is a member. I was having a blast! I played shuffleboard with the wrestling coaches from our school while my hubs was at the bar talking to his buds. I did not realize he was enjoying himself some cran and vodka- which he never drinks- instead of his normal beverage of choice: beer. Then we decided to go to another bar with a live band to dance- and that is when KK melted down. He was stumbling down the road and looked Chinese. I had to practically guide him down the street, it was embarrassing. At that point, I made a brilliant decision and decided to call a cab to take us home.

To sum it all up, he tried to throw up IN OUR BACK YARD and then wanted to sleep on the bathroom floor, and as I write this, is still up in our bed. I'm so glad my sweet daughter does not have the wear-with-all to understand what a FRIGGIN IDIOT her father is... we are definitely going to have to make fun of him mercilessly.. when he finally decides to join the land of the living!
Man, we really do know how to live it up!

Our first time

So KK and I are leaving Ali with my mom on Saturday for her first over-nighter with Grandma and Grandpa. We are going to attend an auction/dinner that supports the different athletic programs at the high school where we both work and coach. We decided to have her stay the night with the grandparents in order to free us up to partake in some adult beverages, and not worry about waking up to feed our kiddo. I'm totally not nervous at all, just worried I might get homesick for my little baby gal. I am, however, looking forward to a little adult-time.. and I'm planning to not drink a lot so I can take advantage of a full night's uninterrupted rest! You could not believe how appealing this sounds to me! So wish me luck on my first childless night in 6 weeks (or in almost a year, if you count pregnancy)!

OH, and P.S.- I am getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow, it needs it soo bad! The fun part is that I am going to go with my original, dark blond color (something I have never done since dying it for the first time in like 9th grade) with some honey colored highlights. I am still growing it out, so I don't think I will go for anything drastic on the cut- maybe some layers and thinning of this bird's nest mess... but I'm really excited to see it darker- usually I just have blond high and lowlights put in.. I'll post pics for shizzee!

Good to know

I could survive for 1 minute, 3 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Good times had by all

My best friend Rose and her hubs Jon came to visit us last week, and we had the best of times! I really do have the bestest friend in the world- I never will know how I got so lucky to find my soul mate (can one have soul mate friends? well I do if it exists). We went shopping and walked around the cutesy, artsy fartsy downtown area in my town that I never visit unless I am entertaining guests. We also just hung out and relaxed together. Rose absolutely loved our little Ali gal- she and Jon are going to start trying to create their own bunch over the winter- whoo hoo!

KK and I finished off the week by heading up to the cabin. It was so nice to get outta town and just relax - it is amazing how much fun doing nothing can be! I strapped Ali in the front pack and went walkin'- I love fall and all the trees changing colors! It was really refreshing for me - I have been feeling so run-down lately- maybe a mild case of the baby blues- but being up in that northern air and seeing the beauty that I have in my life gave me just the boost I needed.

On the Ali update front: she is becoming so alert and starting to show us her little personality, and thankfully, it's a good one :-). She is beginning to smile and coo, and follows us around the room with her eyes- it's awesome!

She rolled over on Saturday!!!!!!! We could not even believe it: I was sitting on the floor with her, enjoying some tummy time, and she pushed herself up and over to her right side! It surprised the crap outta her, me, and daddy, but we laughed and clapped for our big girl. Who knows if it was a fluke- she is only 5 weeks old- but we think she is pretty amazing.

P.S. This picture confirms it: this baby looks nothing like her mommy and exactly like her daddy:( Thankfully, her daddy is a good lookin sucker!

It's going to be a good week

My greatest friend of all times, Rose, is coming to visit me tomorrow! She and her husband are both captains in the Air Force and are currently in between bases: they were stationed in Turkey (Rose also just got finished with a 6 month stint in Iraq) and they are on their way to San Antonio, Texas. They are spending their month-long transfer time visiting his mom in Kentucky, her parents in Boise, his brother in Seattle, and ME !!!
I'm so excited to see them and introduce them to Ali! I have so much to catch her up on.. and it will be nice for her to have a peek into what my life is like with a baby to care for! We have been friends since college, so this scene will be a little different then what she is used to :-) It is so hard for me to go through life without her here on a daily basis- our yearly visits don't quite make up for the distance, but we do our best to squeeze in as much fun and laughs while we can be together. Oh man, I'm so excited!

4 weeks!

It is hard to believe that my little gal is already 4 weeks old! But at the same time, it feels like I've known her forever. She's doing so good: growing like a weed lately... we are still trying to figure out just how many ounces of formula to give her to keep her full for more than an hour, without making her upchuck from over-eating: it's quite a process really. Last night, or should I say morning (2:30am) she decided that she wanted to play in her bassinet after eating. Believe me, it was as fun as it sounds. Needless to say, Mommy didn't get back to sleep until 4am, and was then woken up by the hubster getting into the shower at 5:15. I didn't get to sleep in to catch up either- I had my 4 week checkup at 9:15... and getting ready with a baby is a whole other story then getting ready by yourself. I have never been more late to things in my life! Don't' worry- I'm learning from it and scheduled my next appointment at 11:00: perhaps then I can make it with a few minutes to spare!

And my 4 week appointment went great, by the way. My va-J-J that was blown out by this almost 9lb baby coming out facing up is healing up nicely, I'm happy to report. My hubby was happy to hear we got the go ahead on doing it again: the poor man is cravin some a-c-t-i-o-n!